Sorry for the lack of posts, work has been CRAZY this week. Am of to Boston tomorrow for a fun weekend with Twin Sister, his bf and Grace Jones.

PS. This weekend will complete the dance trifecta, after this I will be back to my normal non-clubbing self. Well, at least until June.

Weekend Awards

Friday night: First off, I'm not even sure what we did on Friday...oh wait that's a lie. The Mean Girls plus these fabulous ladies had some mean drinks served up by this gentleman. Not sure who got the Spletty but I guess it would be me by default. Sure enough left my jacket in the bar which I had to go pick up on Saturday.

Saturday: Went to Cherry expecting to have a blast but instead was only "meh." Peter Rauhofer probably served up some fierce beats, but we couldn't really tell because the sound system was shitty. Still though, there were a couple of times we tore a whole in the dance floor. Plus Dave & Forty were there and they are always a good time to hang out with. Chocolatte definitely won the Josefina award.

Sunday Morning: I believe Grace Jones won the second installment of the Josefina award at Platinum. Chocolatte and I passed on this party so Grace's award is technically hearsay...

P.S. Grace's favorite dance, the "Tardo on Christmas" is truly magical and must be witnessed at some point in your life, sort of like a pigrimage to mecca.

Sunday Evening: Definitely a group Spletty at JR's this evening, although I'm sort of thinking that Chocolatte edged out the rest of us.

Pop Quiz

Ok kiddies, pop quiz. Based on this paparazi picture, how many drinks do you think I had (Hint #1: I'm on the left. Hint #2: I don't remember the picture being taken)?

Divas to the Dancefloor Please

Saturday night at Nation was a blast. The girls and I decided to come out of retirement for an evening of fun with David Knapp. Grace Jones won the inaugural Josefina award. Although towards the end of the night Twin Sister was giving Grace a run for her money.

If you've never heard David Knapp spin before, he likes to keep it fun and uplifting with lots of vocals and such. The antithesis of Victor Calderone if you will. Some of the songs he played include (in no particular order):

My Humps - Black Eyed Peas
Bring It On - Debby Holiday
Rythmn Intoxication - Rosabel
El Tigre - Ralphi Rosario
Love Will Find A Way - Vernessa Mitchell
Fascinated - Suzanne Palmer
S.O.S - Rhianna(which was HOT)
It Makes a Difference - Kim English (wasn't a big fan of this one)
I want More - Amuka
Be Without You - Mary J Blige
Mesmerized - Faith Evans
Walk Away - Kelly Clarkson (also HOT)
Sorry - Madonna
Crash - Gwen Stefani
Luxurious - Gwen Stefani
Gimme Some Love - DJ's Are Alive
U Know I Love It - Superchumbo
Sweat - Tom De Neef vs. Mochico (was not expecting to hear this, this is song is AWESOME)
That Feeling - DJ Chus

I'm pretty sure he played a remix of Bette Midler - Fever and I know he played my all time favorite song, Veronica - Someone to Hold. Btw, the latter song is like 5 years old but it still brings everyone to the dancefloor.

Memo

Dear Nation Patrons,

There may be some holes on the dance floor this evening. Please be advised that Chris, Grace Jones and Twin Sister are coming out of retirement and will likely burn multiple holes in the floor. You have been warned.

Thanks,
-Management

MIA

Apparently I missed some good times last night on the strip. While I would have loved to have been there, I was instead pitched in an epic battle against the sour-milk latte I mistakenly ingested just after work yesterday. Let me tell you kids, Sour Milk+Human Stomache=NOT PRETTY!

In the immortal words of Dale:

Die effing week
You fucked me like the prom queen
I hope you get crabs

This about sums up my week perfectly. Anyone up for $9 all-you-can-drink?

One more thing...

Oh so I forgot to mention about my taxes. As you may recall I owed DC some money from last year and they decided to gank it out of my federal tax refund. Since they took ALL of my tax refund I figured I probably still owed them some money. Today, after having braved the D-40EZ I decided to bite the bullet and find out. At ten o'clock I cleared out my schedule for the next hour and picked up the phone. If any of you have at to deal with any level of the DC government (particularly the DMV) than you know that it's often easier, and more pleasent, to remove your own spleen with scissors and a butter knife. I very much expected to be on hold for a good 45 minutes only to have Ethel or Taikwondiesha pick up the phone and tell me I had dialed the wrong number (see above pic).

But, my friends, today was my luck day. After navigating the phone tree, surprisingly easy I might add, I was put on hold and told that my phone call would be answered in "two minutes." WTF, is this some fucked up April Fools joke? Sure enough 30 seconds later a lovely young woman answers the phone (see below pic) and is extremely helpful. "Yes you still owe us money, but it's only $9.30 so if your refund is greater than that [it is], you have nothing to worry about." Here's the kicker, at the end of the convo she actually said "have a nice day." I must be in the twilight zone, or I should really go play powerball.

There is only two things certain in life...

...death and taxes. Just a gentle reminder that, if you're like me and you haven't filed all of your taxes yet, you only have a left week to do it. Also if your like me, single (well, not married) with no dependents and no serious deductions, it only takes like 20 mins.

And the Award Goes To...

This weekend, several Spletty's were handed out. Side note: Aren't my friends great? They've named a drunk award after me. I think they might be trying to send me a message. Anyway without further ado:

Friday Night: This was a doubles award, like Ice Dancing, that went to Twin Sister and his bf. Not sure what happened, but TS was slurring his words so bad by the time we got to JR's. He couldn't even finish his first drink and had to be taken home. TS's bf was not too far behind in this regard. I think by default Twin Sister gets the award for this evening because you know he has to be REAL wasted to not be able to finish a drink.

Saturday Night: I obviously got the award for this evening. In the words of Dale, I was definitely blackout. I don't remember anything after Taylor's house, but apparently I was adament about not getting in a cab home.

Sunday Afternoon: This day saw a close race all the way to the finish. Grace Jones and I sort of conspired to give the award to Chocolatte but at the last minute Grace's friend Brian upstaged us all to come away with the prize. Or so I've been told. I was home and in bed long before this all happened. PS. Our bill from Biddy's had 21 long island ice teas on it. There is something seriously wrong with us. I think I'm gonna have to go on a Biddy's hiatus for a bit. It does far too much damage to my liver and my bank account.

Song of the Day

S.O.S (Chris Cox Remix) - Rhianna (click here for an audio sample - you may need to register)

The song is HOT. There is a nice little sample of Tainted Love in there, one of my favorite songs of all time. Try and find it if you want to have a dance party in your office!

Zach Morris

So I broke down and got a new cell phone. I decided to just eff it and get the free one. I don't really need all that fancy shit. I just want to make phone calls and send text messages. Unfortunately the free phone is the size of a brick. Oh well. Anyway, the upshot is that I wasn't able to trasnfer a lot of my phone numbers over to my new phone. So if I got your number in the past year, most likely I no longer have it. So send it to me bitches csplet(at)yahoo(dot)com.

Thanks,
-Management

PS. Twin Sister yelled at me for posting my email address, but I helpfully reminded him that any intrepid person could click on my profile to find it.

Jetlag

Well I'm back from my trip finally. Overall it was a pretty good time. As I mentioned before, I didn't really do too much. Except for my side trip to Amstredam. I have to say, it was a bit stange staying with my friend and her husband. She is the same age I am, 24, but they are definitely an old married couple already. Not the movers and shakers that we are here in DC. And they definitely don't drink nearly as much as we all do here. I knew this almost instantly when i got to their place and opened the fridge to see a half drank bottle of wine. Huh? I mean seriously, who opens a bottle of wine and doesn't finish it? Split between two people, a bottle of wine is only like 2 or three glasses each. That's barely buzz-worthy.

My other clue that they are an old married couple happened on Saturday night. Around 11pm. When they decided it was bed time. I don't really know what to say to that. In her defense, my friend was sick. And since her husband is w-h-i-p-p-e-d, he obvi wouldn't go out without her. Anyway despite all of this, it was still really great to see both of them.

Oh and a few quick comments on Brussels. I've reaffirmed my opinion that I really don't like the city. It's a dirty city, kinda like Paris. Dirty buildings, dog shit on the streets, non-existent customer service. If you are thinking of going there. Don't. It's not really worth it. And if you are looking for the French type of experience, you'd be much better off going to Paris (another city I'm not really fond of).

Side note: Kiat- I owe you a million thanks for the drink coupons, they made my flights bearable. And the people sitting next to me rediculously jealous. Thanks!!

Where's Waldo

Hello Kiddies. Brussels has been great. Been around town, seen the sights, etc etc... My friend has been battling a sickness so we haven't really gone out much. Ok, at all. But it's all good considering I've been trying to destroy my liver the past few weekends. I'm writing this post from an Easy E in Amsterdam. Those of you who studied abroad may know what an Easy E is (easyInternetcafe). They are all over London and a couple of other cities. Anyway, my friend is home sick from work today and her husband had a bunch of errands to run so I decided to take a little side trip up here since I've never been before. That it only took me three hours by train is one of the neat things about Brussels. When I was trying to decide where to go I had so many options:

London: 2h 30m
Paris: 1h 10m
Cologne: 2h 20m (ish)
Amsterdam: 3h

Plus many other smaller cities...

Cologne was the cheapest but I'd been there before, London and Paris were not so cheap. So Amsterdam it was. Anyway time is running out. Hope you are all doing well. See you when I get back.

PS. Did you know that they sell shrooms in shops here. Legally. If I was into that sort of thing this would be really cool. But I'm not. So the novelty is lost on me.

PPS. Yes they also sell weed here in shops. Legally. But I knew that already. But I'm not really into that either.

Oh and one more thing. For some reason on this trip jet lag has been a bitch. Usually, coming to Europe, it doesn't really get to me. Those bi-monthly trips to Germany 2 years ago got me really used to it I guess. Been a while I suppose...

Au Revoir Bitches!

Well kiddies I'm just about to head off to the airport fly over to Brussels. I'm pretty excited about the trip, although my last experience in the city wasn't that great. I guess I'm more excited to be going back to Europe as I've feel like it's been ages (July) since my last trip. I'll be sure and knock back a Stella or two for you all.

For those of you that care, I'm flying non-stop from Dulles which a) rocks and b) makes the trip so much easier. I really hate the jet-lagged rush through the Frankfurt airport, or worse, London Heathrow in a vein attempt to make my 90 min connection. My flight'll be even better thanks to Kiat and the mutitude of drink coupons he gave me for the flights. Yes, even United has started charging for booze across the pond. Sad :-(

PS. Not sure I'll have internet access so I may not post until I get back next Tuesday.

I am so smart. S-M-R-T

Yesterday I wrote about how my cell phone had almost died. I pointed out that the clear button and joystick didn't work, and that the phone likes to turn of randomly. Well, what I neglected to point out is that the clear button is also the power button. Now a smart person would have put two and two together and said. "Wait a second. Power button doesn't work. Phone turns off when it wants. I should really copy down my numbers and transfer them to the sim card so I won't lose them if the phone turns off and I can't turn it back on." We can obviously guess what happens next. Of course the phone turns off and I have no way of turning it back in. I thought I was up a creek.

Fortunately, the phone also like to turn itself back on randomly, as it did this morning, and I again have phone service. As soon as I get back from Brussels I'm def getting a new one. This leaves me in a bit of a dilemma. Do I just go for the free phone (my contract has been up for ages, remember the last phone was a boot-leg so didn't have to renew) or do I go for the new Slivr.

RIP :-(

My fabulous little phone has finally died. Ok, almost died. The end button doesn't work and neither does the down or up button on the little joystick thingie (see above). This makes it impossible to silence my phone, or scroll through my contacts. The phone also likes to turn off whenever it damn well pleases, without giving me any sort of hint it's turned off. This is especially aggravating when walking around waiting for a phonecall. I have only had this phone a year which makes it especially irritating. Anyway, I've learned two very valuable lessons from this:

1) Do not buy a Siemens cell phone. They suck more than Showgirls.

2) Do not buy your cellphone bootleg-style. Yes kiddies, I wanted this phone so badly (though it was only sold in Europe) that I went to a ghetto store up on Conn. Ave and bought a Latvian variety. O-b-v-i lesson learned.

Grumble

Please tell me again why we thought it was a good idea to drink ALL day yesterday. I definitely peaced out of JR's at like 630 and was passed out at home by 730. My liver is going to fall out.

Fill-In-The-Blanks

OBVI I am still a little bit drunk from last night. I think it might have something to do with getting to JR's at 5:30 for $9 all-you-can-drink. Oooops. Anyway, as my memory is a little hazy, I'd like to play my favorite game. Fill-In-The-Blanks. I'll go first:

I remember getting to JR's at 5:30
I vaguely remember the end of all-you-can-drink
I vaguely remember falling off my barstool. Oooops.
I don't really remember the BF yelling at me on the corner of 17th and R.
I vaguely remember not caring

I'm not really sure if the BF yelled at me or not. But I'm just going to make that assumption since it would be par for the course.

Two Vodka Tonics and a Madras

Myself, Twin Sister and Twin Sister's bf are no longer allowed in DIK bar. Wait, back up. Hypothetically speaking, if myself, Twin Sister and Twin Sister's bf were to set foot in DIK bar, possibly more than once. And if, hypothetically speaking, the bartender were to remember us and our drinks. We would, hypothetically speaking, not be allowed to continue the practice as DIK bar is trashy and we are ladies and we couldn't possible be associated with this place. This is, of course, all hypothetical as we would never be caught dead in DIK bar to begin with.

Except that one time that me and Mimi decided we were done with DIK bar but not our drinks so we decided to hide them under our coats and take them to McDonalds. That was hot.