STOP! You are too drunk to make that phone call

So apparently there are phones in South Korea that have a breathalyzer on it. And when you get too drunk it prevents you from dialing certain people in your phone book. Now, I don't really have a drunk dialing problem, but I certainly know of others that do. The phone will be making an appearance here in the U.S. in the not to distant future. Just think, you're at the bar, you think its a great idea to call that ex of yours for a booty call or what not but instead you get a display: "You are too drunk to make that phone call." It'd be even better if it call you out in a loud tone, sort of like the metro farecard machine when your card gets declined. (From ABC News and Sumanesq)

Tastes Like Chicken

I would like to relay the story of a friend of mine, who, for our purposes we'll call Gretchen. Now, Gretchen, Grace Jones and myself were all hanging out on Friday evening, enjoying a cocktail in the comfort of Grace's new home and just generally taking it easy. Around 1030 I was getting tired so I decided to head home. Gretchen apprently went home around midnight. But when she got home, she decided that maybe she wanted a nightcap to finish off the evening.

So she heads to Cobalt.

Where mayhaps she ran into a person that she went on a (second) date with on Thursday night.

And mayhaps she decided to leave said gentleman alone with his friends and head upstairs to "do a lap. You know, as you do..."

And mayhaps she found herself in a pleasant conversation with another gentleman.

Mayhaps said gentleman was a 21 year-old GW junior.

Possibly they took their pleasant conversation to a quieter corner. Namely the Cobalt bathroom (One of the upstairs stalls too!! Not the single use "hump, bump and dump" room downstairs).

Where mayhaps Gretchen decided she wanted a little taste of chicken (aka the 21 year-old GW junior).

Now why couldn't Gretchen and "the chicken" move their intimate conversation downstairs to the single use ladies room, were most people would have the decency to move this type of conversation? Oh right, her date from Thursday night was downstairs.

Whore.

P.S. The following conversation ensued between myself and Gretchen the next day:

Chris: So, was he cute? Did you go home with him?
Gretchen: Ya he was cute, but no I didn't go home with him.
Chris: Well you seemed to get along just fine in the Cobalt bathroom, why didn't you go home with him?
Gretchen: I didn't want to bring him back to my place 'cause they never leave when you want them to. And I certainly wasn't going back to his place in Foggy Bottom, that's in zone 2. And I'm not paying for a two zone cab ride back home.

Friday Five

1. Last night was spent at JR's taking advantage of their fabulous $9-all-you-can-drink special. Met up with the usual crew to enjoy the festivities. On a scale of 1-10 (1 being sober and 10 being passed out on the floor of JR's) I was a 5 or 6 last night. Not sober, but not hammered either. There is something to be said for moderation.

2. I decided to stop giving creditors the button and instead answered their phone calls while at JR's. By answered I mean held the phone up for them to hear the backgroung noise and waited to see how long before they hungup.

3. I am SOOOOOOOOO bored at work today. Someone please come save me.

4. I was planning on going to Remingtons with the BF and the crew tonight, but instead I think I'd like to stay in with a pint of ben & jerry's, a bottle of pino and a good movie.

5. My mom and sister might be coming out to visit soon. That would be exciting. Unless they try and stay for like a week. Then it would be less exciting.

I have a bridge I would like to sell you

I'm standing in one of my coworkers' office, who also happens to be the tech guy, when our receptionist buzzes him. Here is how the conversation unfolded:

Receptionist: Hi [tech guy], I have a question for you.
Tech Guy: Sure
Receptionist: Is the internet the same in Africa as it is here?
Tech Guy: Ummm, ya. Pretty sure it is........why?
Receptionist: Well, I think this aquaintance of mine in Africa is trying to pull a fast one on me. He is telling me that he can't access his bank records and asking me to do it for him or something like that. I keep trying to tell him that the internet isn't different.
Tech Guy: Ummm, [Receptionist] I think it's probably a scam.
Recptionist: (In a totally serious voice) Really, you think?

Song of the Day

Djuma Soundsystem - Les Djinns (Trentemoller Remix)

This song is way more downtempo than I usually listen to but it is definitely growing on me.

This is a joke. Right?

I found this via On Top, Down Under (who, I just discovered, has a link to my blog). Apparently a radio station in New Zealand is on the lookout for the next hot boyband. They can't possibly be serious, but let me know what you guys think.

From The Edge's website:

"We are on a nationwide search for NEW ZEALAND'S very first BOYBAND and take them to NUMBER ONE on the NZ music charts.

We are giving you the chance to audition for BOYBAND. We are sending out our own Boy Scouts who will search the length of the country to find Hot Boy, Bad Boy, Mummy’s Boy, Fat Boy and Gay Boy!

If you think you have what it takes to be part of the very first NZ BOYBAND - Then get your audition to us!
By either mail, online, calling 0800 BOYSCOUT (0800 269726) or catching our head 'Boy Scout' - CHANG in your town to audition in person. (Location details coming today)

Should you be selected, you will then go through an intense week of Band Camp training that will include choreography, singing lessons, styling and media training to prepare the Top 10 for the head-to-head competition week.

You will then record your debut song with one the industries most esteemed music producers, create a music video, and perform a live opening performance on October 18 at the music industry’s night-of-nights, the New Zealand Music Awards.

Listen to The Edge for all the latest, how you can be part of BOYBAND and how you will decide everything that will make BOYBAND create New Zealand music history!"

Konichiwa

Well kiddies I'm off to Tokyo. Again. This trip though is more similar to my trip to Alaska last year in that I need the miles. Of course, going to Tokyo for a weekend will be fun, but taking the bf to Australia in March will be even more fun. I won't bore you with details, but going to Tokyo will net me enough miles to have two free tickets to Australia, instead of one. And the trip to Tokyo was MUCH cheaper than a flight downunder.

Oh, and I learned my lesson after the last trip. No more of this nonstop-from-the-east-coast-14 hour bullshit. I flew from JFK last time and it was just too long of a trip in coach, especially a daylight flight. This time I'm flying to SF first and then over. It breaks up the trip nicely plus I can upgrade the domestic portions

Weekend Roundup

Friday Night: The bf and I decided to stay in and relax. I was def in bed by like 11. Lame, I know

Saturday: The bf and I finished the paint job we started last weekend. At first I was unhappy with our accent color but it is now growing on me. Finally we can move forward with some of our other furniture purchases. Oh, and we finally got a couch. Of course the effing thing is on backorder but we hope to have it sometime shortly after September 1.

Saturday Night: Hung out at Twin Sister's place then went to the GL for drinks. Grace Jones and I ended up staying at the GL until like 230.

Sunday: I woke up still really loaded from the night before. I didn't think I had drank that much, meh, oh well. Grace, the bf, Taylor Jean and I went to a midday cookout at one of the bf's friends places. It was the perfect day for it too. While I was busy trying to sober up from the night before, the BF was busy trying to take my drunk crown away from me. By the end of JR's at 830, the bf had definitely accomplished his task.

On the tip of my tongue...

Last night, as I was laying in bed slowly drifting off to sleep. I came up with a really good idea for a blog post. Unfortuntely I haven't a clue what that idea is anymore. Grumble. So instead, I'll just give you some randomness.

1. Though I was only sick for two weeks, I feel like I've been out of commission for months. It really is a wierd feeling. The sickness also causeed me to lose over 10 pounds. And I definitely didn't have 10 pounds to spare. Oh well, time to get back to the gym.

2. I am doing good with the not smoking thing. Occasionally I have a really big urge to fall off the wagon, but I've been pretty good (exception, JR's on a thursday night).

3. This summer has not been as fun as summers past. Not really sure why. Maybe it's because I'm so much busier than last year. Or have more responsibility. Or both. Who knows. What I do know is that momma needs a vaca. For like a week.

4. My 25th birthday is less than a month away (September 5th to be exact). I haven't a clue what I'm going to do for it. But unlike some people who approach their 25th with trepidation, I have none of these feelings. To me, it's just another year. With cheaper car insurance and rental car rates.

5. The new Beatport 3.0 beta is awesome. I already felt that Beatport was the best portal to buy music (not the stuff you'd find on iTunes though), but it's gotten even better. The site really does a great job of making browsing easy SO EASY! Plus Beatport has such a huge collection of music from house, to progressive, to hip-hop, d&b, minimal, trance, chill out, breaks, etc... (I promise I don't work for the site. I just REALLY like how easy it makes shopping for music).

6. I got my haircut today with someone other than my normal stylist. My normal stylist used to work at VSL salon but has since moved on. He left when I was so I wasn't able to find out where he was going. If you know where Bill from VSL went, please tell me. I will be your best friend! Anyway, so I went to someone new today. I told her that I had let me hair grow too long and I wanted it short. I guess in her mind short=military buzz cut. Cause that's what I have. Now before any of you snarky bitches say "well why didn't you stop her." I didn't have a chance. She took out the old buzzer and in one fell swoop, gone was my hair. And I was stuck with the length she had chosen for me. Oh well, lesson learned.

I just have to say that Tom Stephan's Essential Mix from Radio 1 (circa 2003) is SO GOOD. It is still by far my favorite mix ever.

Song of the Day

Eric Morillo feat P. Diddy - Dance I said (Masi Mello Heavyweight Remix)

So apparently Eric Morillo and Diddy teamed up to produce this little number. Not something I'd expect Diddy to work on but have to say that it is def HOT. As usual you can find it on BeatPort if you search for label, Subliminal and view all tracks.

PS. Have I mentioned that I'm a big fan of the Subliminal label? They def put out some hot tracks.

It is too hot outside!

Back from the Brink

This past weekend was nice. Got to see my mom and some friends from high school. Didn't get to see my sister this time around, hopefully next time. The bf and his two friends all finished the marathon. For which a) they deserve many kudos and b) deserve to be certified by a mental health professional as crazy.

I am also no longer perched precariously on my death bed. I still have a cough which is bothering me, but at I don't have a the fevers or the chills or the aches and pains. I've also lost over 10 pounds in the last two weeks so I look kinda sickly. My clothes hang off me in a way they haven't in a long time. Will definitely need to be hitting the gym and gaining some weight in the next few weeks.

PS. It has been many days now since my last cigarette. For some reason today has been the worst in terms of cravings. But I have a solution. Everytime I want a cigarette I eat ice cream instead. It's worked so far today. This may also solve my weight loss problem.

Homeward Bound

Well I'm off to San Francisco this evening for a much needed mini-vaca. Most of you are probably thinking, "bitch you just had a mini-vaca all last week." To which I would reply, "Honey, that sickness and staying home from work was anything but a vacation!" Anyway, I'm finally starting to feel better now so it'll be nice to relax at home (on furniture) and enjoy hanging with the family. Plus the BF is running the San Francisco Marathon so obvi I'm gonna cheer him on.

PS. It has been over nine days since I've had a cigarette. Go me!!

Shut Up!!

You will watch this and you will like it!

Super Trooper

Well, I'm still sick. And not really any better than I was last week. I've made it a bunch of days now without smoking so that urge has finally passed. I am, however, starting to get a little concerned about this respiratory infection. I mean, it's been over seven days and I really don't feel any better. In some ways, I feel like a 75 year old grandma, one that needs to pause while walking up the steps, or gets winded walked to the kitchen. Yep, that'd be me. Then there's this horrible cough. It just won't go away. Sometimes it's fine, but others it creeps up on me and won't let go until I'm on the floor curled up barely able to breath.

But anyway, all of this is beside the point. I've realized two things this past week 1) I'm not as young as I used to be and 2) I've got the most amazing bf ever. I knew, even before I was sick, that I had the most amazing bf but this past week just drove it home for me. He has been an amazing trooper: running to the store, cooking dinner, taking care of me, etc while I wake him up in the middle of the night with my coughing fits and leave half empty cups of water all over the place. I'm sure he's just as fed up with this illness as I am but he hasn't said a word of complaint (ok, maybe one or two). I can't tell him enough how much I appreciate everything he has done for me this past week and I hope he knows that I haven't taken any of it for granted...

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Well kiddies, this recent viral respiratory infection that I have has prompted me to try and quit smoking. That's right, I had my last cigarette on Tuesday afternoon. While it seemed like a good idea at the time, obviously I was delerious with fever. Seriously, what was I thinking?

Internal Monologue:
-Gee Chris, the sorry state of your lungs at the moment and your inability to walk to the kitchen, let alone the corner 7-11 to by a pack of cigarettes, really gives a great opportunity to quit smoking.
-That's a good point! I mean the fever, chills, sore joints, fatigue, general feeling of being in the 5th level of hell isn't enough. Let's kick it up a notch or two and go for level 7, we might as well add all the symptoms of nicotene withdrawal.

Well anyways, a day and a half later and so far so good. However, I'd really like to either a) sleep for the next 48 hours until this withdrawal goes away or b) slit my wrists.

PS. Obvi I'm to be avoided for the next day or two as I'll be liable to say nasty things to you that I'll regret later.

Hi all, I had planed on giving you all a nice weekend update yesterday, but instead I woke up feeling like death warmed over. Anyway I still at home, trying to recover from whatever nasty virus is infecting me I'll be sure and post more.

In the mean time, the Readers Digest version of the Weekend Recap.

The weekend was great, The Mean Girls plus Hurricane Josefina were reunited for the first time in ages! It was so nice to be back together again, if only for a weekend.

The Nation closing party was predictebly nuts. Now, we can debate the merits of the place for hours on end (drug invested hole vs. fun place to dance) but we can't debate the fact that Nation was the first gay club I ever went to 5 years ago or that, for good or ill, I spent many a night in those early formative years dancing the night away. I like to think of Nation's closing as the end of one chapter and the beginning of another in the life of Chris.

That's pretty much it. Went to JRs on sunday night got wasted. Came home. OOoh, we di go see Pirates II on Saturday out at Tyson's. Def not as good as the first one, but not bad either. Probably didn't help that we were seated in row 3.

4 Things

Instead of taking the time to write a post of substance. Time which I don't have at the moment. I figured I'd give you this little gem which was sent to me over email.

Four things About me:

Four jobs I've had in my life:
1. Camp counselor
2. Government employee
3. Bank teller
4. Media analyst

Four movies I have watched over and over:
1. Playing by Heart (I highly recommend watching this movie. It is SO good!)
2. Hunt for Red October
3. Elizabeth
4. The Mean Girls

Four place I have lived:
1. San Francisco/Berkeley
2. Washington DC.
3. Freiburg, Germany
4. London

Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Project Runway (more on that later)
2. Lost
3. Star Trek TNG reruns (shut up bitches!)
4. BBC

Four Places I have been on vacation (speaking of, Momma needs a serious vaca!):
1. Sydney
2. Tokyo
3. All over western Europe (and Budapest)
4. Santo Domingo

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Large #3 with a power aid
2. Sushi
3. Cheesecake
4. Turkey and mashed potatoes

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. In bed
2. Sun, beach, frost drink
3. Europe (at the moment I'm itching to head to Munich. Maybe in the fall...)
4. Holding the winning powerball ticket

Took a little break

Hey Kids, sorry about the little break I took. This past weekend was a bit nuts. Saturday night was the bf's birthday party which was a TON of fun. Thanks to all of you who could make it. The fourth of July started out great with a picnic in Rock Creek Park and watching the fireworks from our balcony. The night ended badly however, but won't go into details. \

I don't really have much in the way of news. Will hopefully have a more fun update for you very soon.