Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Remember Raves?

So I get these emails from Mezzanine, a club in San Francisco. Previously I've always thought the place was pretty cool. Until this email. Huge Flagger Stage? Are you kidding me? Didn't realize we were taking it back to 1995. Maybe they'll pass out glowsticks and pacifiers as well...
I would also like to sleep with this guy and or have his children. If you can work that out, let me know.

Take back my life

So I've decided that this week is going to be take back my life week. I need to do laundry and clean my room. I've had a ton of fun these past few months, going out with the girls, having a ball...but it just occured to me that in the past 3 or 4 months, there hasn't been a single weekend that we haven't gone out. And following the SHENANIGENS from this past weekend, I think it's about time to break that trend.

PS. I called Mark, the guy I'm supposed to go out with this week. Left a message yesterday but he hasn't called me back yet...will keep you posted.

Monday, May 30, 2005


This past weekend kicked off the summer with a vengence. Rather than try and explain it all, I'll give you my standard practice...

I remember countless pitchers of mimosa's at a 15 person brunch.

I remember that bithch Thermo-Boost making an entrance sometime between brunch and JR's

I remember drink shaming Nick for try fucking half the bar on the pool table

I remember Chuck and I downing drinks at JR's like they were glasses of Evian

I remember Nick being a walking prostitute

I remember not going home with anyone this weekend

I remember Chuck making it back from 16th St sometime around 630 am

Who's next? Nick, Chuck, or Bernie?

PS. Why is it that when Chuck gets loaded and doesn't remember going home with somebody he wakes up three blocks from his apartment, but when I do the same, I wake up outside the beltway?

PPS. Richard, you win. Remingtons was a blast, I can't wait to take line dancing lessons!

Friday, May 27, 2005


There are going to be like 17 people at all you can drink brunch on sunday. I don't even have words to describe how out of control that is going to be.

Last night

I'm not going to play my usual Friday morning game. All I'm going to say about last night is that if I don't remember it, it never happened.

PS. I'm just now getting my hangover, and it SUCKS!

Thursday, May 26, 2005


I am in such a good mood today. I woke up, bounded out of bed, and have already gotten a ton of work done. The weather is good and I possibly have a date for next week. Looking forward to sitting in the circle and maybe $9 all-you-can-drink tonight.

Song of the day: Whiteside - Heaven (Simone Vitullo Harder Remix)

Wednesday, May 25, 2005


Quick weekend update: I called the guy from sunday night. Was expecting to get voicemail...I mean who pick's up a number they don't recognize? I guess he does. Anyway in a pinch I went with Mark, which was actually correct (go me!!). We tentatively have a date for next week. I Am way excited! The true test, however, will be if he picks up the next time I call....


Last night Chuck and I decided to hit JR's for power hour. Don't know why really, but regardless... Dave was working, so needless to say we both got wickedy wasted. Somehow we started talking to some guy from the south, and at one point he started telling us how much he hated all the fake-ness at JR's. This was prompted by our saying goodbye to someone we hate and then talking about him once he left. Anyway, this man went on about it for a while and during our conversation he was hitting on both of us. Then at one point he shows us his wedding ring (I'm fairly certain to a woman). You're telling us about being fake?

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Goodtimes of old

My friend/officemate Kate and I used to have great times. We used to do many things together, laugh, cry, make fun of people on the street, turn up the heat in the winter. But oh how things have changed. Now we are locked in a bitter struggle for climate supremacy. She is always cold, and I am always hot, and at the moment we are playing a game of who's fan is stronger, my A/C, or her heater. I'm not above sabotage...

PS. Once she comes into the office wearing a brown outfit with a black bag. I should've known then that we weren't meant to be friends.

Why not to stick your finger in a light socket

Chuck, tell your uncle he is no longer allowed to play with hair care products. Or blowdriers. Or electrical sockets.


Ummm, why is it only 53 degrees outside? I'm really not happy with this. By no means am I ready for the 90 degree 100% humidity summer that we are in store for, but really, 53?

Monday, May 23, 2005


I wouldn't mind waking up next this guy...

Booze, women, and an El Camino

This past weekend saw the mean girls take their show on the road to Ocean City, aka Straight people central. On Saturday we gave the fans quite a show, which included a dance-a-thon, mystery drinks and a mysterious bottle of poppers. All in all, quite a night!

On sunday Chuck and I walked to get some coffee, on our return to the house a girl driving by in a Chevy El Camino leaned out of her window and yelled "FAGS." Bitch you are rolling in an El Camino, I really don't think you have room to judge. Regardless, we couldn't do anything but laugh at the stupid white trash ho.

In case you don't know what an El Camino looks like...

Shenanigens- meet your evil twin sister, pandemonium

Last night the girls and I went to JR's for $2 vodka drinks. When we first went into the bar, little did we know we were in for a night of SERIOUS shenanigens. We knew something was up when we ordered our first drink, Dave the bartender looked at us, smiled, and ripped the pour spout out of the bottle. Our first round (5 drinks), used up the majority of the bottle. It was only downhill from there.

To fill you in on the rest of the night, we're going to play a variation of my favorite game, this time its called Do's and Don'ts.

I do remember the first round of drinks
I do remember sitting on the pool table talking to the black girls
I do remember the second round of drinks

I do not remember the third round
I do not remember Nick leaving
I do not remember the name of the boy I woke up next to (although I think it was Mark)

I do remember playing the mail game this morning trying to figure out said boy's name

I do not remember leaving my clothes next to his front door

Who's next?

Friday, May 20, 2005

I hate rain

I hate rain! Of course I was too loaded this morning to notice that it was raining, so I left the house without an umbrella. To make it even worse, I'm wearing my cloth top Puma's which the rain just slips right in. I then went to get my haircut at lunch, good thing I have an umbrella at the office. Bad thing it broke when I tried to open it outside.

Needless to say I'm really looking forward to $4 martini's at the Beacon.

Everyone's favorite game

Good Morning, it's time for everyone's favorite friday morning game, Fill-in-the-Blanks. I'll start:

I remember being at JR's
I remember trying really hard not to DYD Bernie
I remember Dave pointing out 5 mins left of all you can drink, and me pushing people out of the way to get to the bar
I remember taking a shot when I finally got to the bar
I don't remember whether or not we went to McDonald's (although judging by my not so wicked hangover I'm betting we did go)

Who's next?

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

The things you find on Craigslist

Reply to: anon-70792689@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-04-29,
11:02AM EDT

I lived in chelsea and my neighbor had a moustache. A moustache and a big belly and a strong smell of cool spice or old spice, something that filled the small elevator with a very basic, musky smell. It kinda killed me. I remember taking the trash down to the basement trash room and finding him in a big sweaty wife beater spraying finish on his collages. His name was Frank. We had martinis once in his apartment. After I let him hug me for the first time and after we took off our shirts, he made me cry. I used to hang out a lot in gristedes at the time. I was very lonely.

Frank, I'm looking for you. Can i take your portrait?

Born again virgin

Here is a snipit of an email conversation while I was at work today. Made anonymous of course...

Friend #1: Did I tell you guys you guys that I am, as of today, a born again virgin? I can't wait to see what it's like

Friend # 2: You and me both. From today forward I'm as pure as the new fallen snow.

Friend #3: Wow, I didn't realize it only took you 96 hours to regrow your virginity

Friend # 2: I heal fast

Friend # 4: You are all filthy whores and should be ashamed of yourselves. Making love is supposed to be a special act between people in love. I am disgusted with how lightly you treat this act of love...I would hope that you are all in committed loving relationships before giving up a taste of your goodies.


Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Metro Etiquette

So I'm on the metro coming back from the gym. Probably smelling a little funky and definitely looking like ass, when this guy comes and sits down next to me. I'd rate him a 5. Now, I'd like to point out that the metro is by no means crowded.

Anyway, as the train starts to move he spreads his legs wide open and leans back. Then he starts to move his leg, the one pressing against mine, very subtlety up and down. My 'dar hadn't really gone off, but I guess it's not perfect. It's now gotten to the point where I can't move my leg any further away, but I'm trying my hardest to pretend I'm not noticing all of this. After about three stops he finally gets the hint and moves to another seat. To top it off, when he moved I looked up and saw another (cute) 'mo sitting across the car. We made eye contact for a second, and, as he had witnessed this whole escapade, he just shook his head and started laughing. It's nice to know I wasn't imagining all of this.

So, words of wisdom for the day: Please do not try and pick me up on the metro. Especially if you're only a 5.

United = Great

Well I just got off the phone with United's International Awards desk. First of all, the Int'l awards desk is AMAZING! I have been trying for over a month now to find an award ticket to Stockholm for a wedding in July. And for over a month they've told me, after almost 2 hours on the phone, that there is nothing they can find.

Today my luck changed. The man on the phone found me a flight. To be more percise, 6 different flights. I have to fly from Washington National to Montreal, Montreal to Frankfurt, Frankfurt to Stockholm. The same on the way back except through Toronto. It took him over an hour and I'm on 3 different airlines (Air Canada, SAS, and Lufthansa), but at least I got a ticket. One more reason I will continue to fly United!

PS. For those of you that don't know it yet, I'm a frequent flier miles whore. If you ever have any questions about them or finding cheap flights, let me know.

Tom Stephan

I'm sure none of you are as excited as I am over Tom Stephan's (aka Superchumbo) upcoming CD, Wowie Zowie. But if you are, and you should be, you can download a pre-release of it at BeatPort. The CD is hot. He's not so bad either.

Monday, May 16, 2005


Friend: I've decided I'm going to start having sex with somebody I care about

Me: Ummm...why?

Friend: Because I've never done it before

Song of the day

Liar (Robbie Rivera Main Mix) - Robbie Rivera; Billy Paul Williams

I'm not gonna lie, I've definitely been rockin' Robbie recently. He has some really good stuff and I don't think he gets enough credit...


I would like to play my favorite monday morning game, Fill-in-the-blanks. It's a game my friends and I play often, usually on monday and friday mornings. We usually play over email, and it goes a little something like this:

I remember being at JR's
I remember "buy a bottom a drink night"
I remember Bernie's game face came out way early
I remember going to McDonald's

Who's next?

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Annoyance of the day

Getting a charlie horse in each leg AT THE SAME TIME while hooking up.

P.S. Just out of curiosity, what is your definition of "hooking up?"


Well the interview went well...I think. Now I just have to wait a week to see if I made it to the next round.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Work blows

I'm writing a report at work today and it really sucks! I need to fill roughly six pages and there really isn't anything to write about. To top it off we aren't going to JR's tonight for all-you-can-drink. Some of you must be wondering if I've caught a fever or something, but no, I have a job interview tomorrow and I really don't want to be all hung-over for it.

Oh but on that interview. The woman called me on monday and scheduled it for friday. So I ran all over the city and finally found a suit and a tailor that could do it in time. Well the woman called me today to tell me that she won't actually be able to make it down from Boston on friday and could we just do it over the phone instead. What am I supposed to say? No? How am I supposed to wow her with my charm and charisma? Oh well, I guess it won't be that bad. And at least now I don't have to get all dressed up.

PS. I downloaded the Chris Cox - Le Freak remix, and it is really good!! [GTS Feat. Norma Jean and Luci M - Le Freak (Chris Cox Remix)]

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

This past weekend

The only thing I'm going to say about this past weekend is that sinister-ness was definitely afoot.

Update: For more info read Chuck's entries here and here

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

I know I don't have a first post!

Well I just sent out the link to this to a bunch of people on friendster, and I figured I'd explain the fact that I don't have a "first post." I could've written about how I want to give people a look into my thoughts, or how I want to share my view of the world, or help you better understand me. All of these things might be true, but then again maybe not. I don't have an agenda for this thing, and I just might post on any topic from politics to last night's all-you-can-drink fiasco. I do hope you enjoy reading this And please, post comments.

Monday, May 09, 2005

while surfing the web...

While I'm sure you're all breathlessly waiting for an update on the weekend sinister-ness, you're just going to have to wait a bit longer. I am still trying to piece it all back together.

But in the meantime, I stumbled upon a new blog, Huffington Post that launched today, by none other than Arianna Huffington, the republican-turned-liberal pundit, and a bunch of other people. Anyway one of the posts really made me laugh. Go check it out.

Friday, May 06, 2005

I would like to sleep with this man...and or have his children. If you can work that out, let me know. Thanks.

It's party time...

I knew Joey arrived when I felt a cold wind move through my office and dark clouds started to form outside. Something sinister is in this city...and I don't think I'll be able to escape it.

P.S. Anybody know what happened to my sunglasses?

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Translation of the day

When they say:

The person you are trying to reach is not accepting calls at this time, please try your call again later

They really mean:

This bitch's phone got cut off!! Tell your friend they need to pay their phone bill!

Rap Snacks

My office mate, Kate, came in this morning with a bag of chips. Not just any bag though, this was a bag of "Rap Snacks," with a big picture of Lil' Romeo on the cover. She bought it from the hot dog stand on the corner. Oh but it gets even better. Here's what it said on the back (word for word):

The New No Limit/Universal Records
presents Lil' Romeo. This prodigy to Master
P is not only a soldier in training, but also
his son. Following in his father's footsteps
there is No Limit to his Universal appeal.
With the release of his sophomore album,
Game Time, Lil' Romeo is the next in line
to destroy the competition with his smash
hit "2Way"
Album in stores June 2002!

I know Nick is going to get mad at me 'cause he grew up on Rap Snacks, but really!

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Just another night at Nation

I found myself with a little free time at work today and decided to check out the upcoming DJ's at Nation and for Pride in San Francisco. It turns out that Chris Cox will be spinning at both DC and SF Pride. He's hit or miss, but with a few exceptions, the last time he was here it was off the hook. One exception: "Just another night at Nation." The song was cute for the first minute, by minute 12 I was definitely over it. Well guess what? According to Nation's website....

Chris Cox returns to make you dance.
Chris is one of DC's favorites...
and he is coming in from Los Angeles
to make us all proud for the night.
This time he is bringing international recording artist State
to perform her brand new single...
drum roll please...
"Just Another Night at Nation"
If you were at Nation for Easter,
you heard Chris debut the song...
and it had people screaming on the dancefloor.
She has written the song,
and Chris has produced it,
just because of their admiration and love for Nation nightclub...
Needless to say we are honored...
but, its also cool that the song actually turns it out too...

I don't even have words....

Monday, May 02, 2005

Word of the day

My new favorite word: Militant

Example of use:

Me and Chuck to Beacon's Host: "Hi, there is going to be 8 of us"

Host: "Oooo, did you make a reservation?"

Me and Chuck (yelling): "We tried to make a reservation but the stupid bitch told us we couldn't" (note : we did not actually use the term "stupid bitch")

Host: "Hey now, you didn't have to get all Militant on me"

A little weekend recap

I think it's time for a little recap of the weekend...

On Friday we all went on a whirlwind tour of DC. It all started out with some serious dancing at the pre-game. I definitely downed my first drink in 2.5 seconds, probably a sign of things to come. We then took a trolley tour over to Jimmy's house. We thought we were getting into a cab but it was all a big hoax, as the driver decided he wanted to take us all over the city in an attempt to get more money out of us. OBVI we had none of that. The party was fun although we didn't stay too long. And I don't know who's smart idea it was to climb up the fire escape to the roof.

We then went to a strip club in Southeast. This place seriously dirty and some man definitely stuck dollar bills down me and Chuck's pants. I attempted to give them back but he would have none of it. Finally grabbed Bernie and went home around 230 ish (sans trick).

Saturday was tame, went to JR's for a drink and then went back to Bernie's for a Top-Model marathon. Tyra's speech...wow

Sunday- sat around the circle and drank spring water. Went home alone at 930...

Just kidding... Sunday was out of control. Let's start with things I remember...
  1. I remember piling into Purnelle's car on the corner of 17th and Q (at 530 pm) and telling him to turn the wrong way up 17th to go to Cobalt. (17th is one-way).
  2. I remember getting to JR's and it was PACKED.
  3. I remember the real Bethany and friends getting there
  4. I remember waking up in Fort Washington, MD
Some things I don't remember
  1. I don't remember meeting him
  2. I don't remember hooking up in the bathroom of JR's
  3. I don't remember leaving with him...
  4. I vaguely remember exiting the beltway...
I've decided, no more booze until thursday...

For those of you unsure of where Fort Washington, MD is...