Three Day Weekend!

I've decided that three-day weekends do some serious damage on my liver. On Saturday night the girls and I threw a party for Chocolatte, who has finally made the move to New York city. We are all, obviously, sad to see him go. And in true Mean Girl fashion, we threw one mean party to send him on his way. These fine ladies were in attendance as well. The true liver destroyer though was Sunday. Not quite sober from the night before, the girls and I decide to head over to the Beacon for all-you-can-drink brunch. Following that we head back to Twin Sister's place to relax and recuperate from brunch, and perhaps finish off a magum of Pinot Grigio between the two of us. It was at this point that things began to go sour. Twin Sister's bf, sensing that some of us were starting to drag, decided it would be a good idea to hand out Vivren (basically caffein pills). Two of these and a near-vomit at JR's later I realize I've had enough and head home to blissfully pass out. Only problem is, the vivren wouldn't let me pass out. So there I am, WASTED, but unable to pass out. I finally fall asleep like 4 hours later and wake up to a rediculous hangover. The result of all of this? I'm swearing off booze for a bit. Now don't worry kiddies, it'll only be a week or two. But I think we all out-did ourselves this weekend and, for me at least, I need a teeny tiny break.

Letter

Dear Mother Nature,

I am not ready for the humidty. It makes DC feel like a Laotian jungle. Please postpone it for a few weeks.

Thanks,
-Management

No More Casual Friday

The uber-boss has sent out an email reiterating the company's dress code policy. Obvi this was only directed to me, as I would most often roll into work in jeans and a t-shirt. Definitely not up to code. Whatevs, I don't mind that I know have to actually look professional. What bothers me is that he also said "we do not have a casual Friday." Huh? Well we certainly did have a casual Friday. So why the change? I think it's cause he's older, and older people just don't really like casual Friday. In my opinion it's a stupid move. While it might seem trivial, casual Friday is probably the easiest and cheapest thing you can do to boost employee morale. It just makes us happier.

Maybe I'll go on strike and institute my own casual friday. Fire me bitches. See if I care...

Monday Randomness

1. I woke up this morning with my hand in a bag of french fries. Hot

2. Bernie (aka Grace Jones) apparently left his cell phone in a cab last night.

3. I have met the bf's parents, who are both awesome. Sample convo:

The bf's mom: I can't wait for you two to adopt kids.
The bf: Mom, we need to adopt a couch first.

4. I'm craving a double quarter pounder.

That is all.

My office mate Kate has finally jumped on the blog bandwaggon. Or I should say, re-jumped as she started a blog a while ago but kinda stopped. Anyway check it out if you get a chance.

Well kiddies I'm off to Pittsburgh this weekend to meet the bf's parents. Should be fun. Not really looking forward to the car ride there and back though :-(

Perhaps...

...I took a two hour lunch with Grace Jones today.

Perhaps we went to Lauriol Plaza and had a margarita. Or two.

Perhaps I'm slightly drunk at my desk at work.

And what?

Flowers in your hair

I was in San Francisco this past weekend, visting with the family for mother's day. The bf came with me and met my mother for the first time. It went really well, not that I had any doubts though. Sadly though the trip really didn't feel like a vacation. Flew out on Friday evening and back here on monday morning. BTW, the travels on monday were a serious clusterfuck. I guess I don't usually travel on monday morning's when lots of business men and women take flight to their jobs. Note to the wise, avoid it like the plague. A bumped flight and three stand-by lists later I finally made it home (although I did get a free ticket out of the deal).

Side note: I was, remakably, booze free this weekend.

Second side note: Driving back from the metro station with my mom and the bf, we were on the freeway when two motorcycles sped past us at about 85 miles an hour. One of them was doing a wheelie and fell off of his bike and slid across three lanes of traffic. Barely being missed by other cars. Luckily he didn't get hit, and managed to stand up (but then fall back down), so he wasn't dead. Still though, it kinda shook me up for the rest of the day with lots of thoughts of our own mortality...

Anyway sorry for the Debbie Downer moment!

Memo to the Mean Girls

You are all evil and you need to be destroyed.

Thanks,
-Management

PS. Two ruphies, not three. Don't get carried away!

Taxation Without Representation

About effing time!

My fortune cookie wisdom of the day. Curtesy of the all-you-can-eat chinese lunch buffet at 14th & L (only $6.99 too!!):

Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.

Song of the Day

Tonight (Starkillers NYC Edit) - DJ Rooster & Sammy Peralta

Apparently this song tore up the Winter Music Conference in Miami this year. I can see why. It is HOT. Sample lyrics include:

Move it, Pump it, Shake it all around
With your low cut jeans and the g-string showin'
You know I wanna hit it, you know I'm gonna get it
So get closer and let's get down

Throw your legs over the bed
Work me out, turn me out, inside and out
You know the way I like the things that you do
Slap, crack, back and yo....

You can find it on Beatport.

My body aches...

I'm not sure if it's because of the huge amounts of vodka I drank, or the cold that I feel is coming. Whatever it is, my body hurts.

PS. Someone forgot to lock the doors on the mental hospital yesterday because those bitches were out in force in Dupont Circle. It was a serious cast of characters which may or may not have included:

Santa Claus: He obvi got the APB on the free food they were handing out and hustled over on his bicycle with cart in tow. Miscellaneous contents said cart included a plastic deck chair and plywood.

Grandpa Simmons: Even though he had a HUGE pile of food on his plate he wasn't happy. Most likely upset at the lack of pork ribs.

The Preacher: There she was, strollin' through the circle in her fierce sun dress (obvi with a little slip showing), bright yellow purse and a weave that hasn't been changed since 1974. She eventually left in a huff after two gay guys started laughing at her. No bitches, Chocolatte and I were not the two that caused her to leave.

And finally we have....

Nibbles: I'm not really sure what this man's deal was. He showed up to the circle with not one, but two cowbow hats on. One was metallic, shimmery rainbow color. He also showed up with an aluminum pan (like the kind at a catering event), which he proceeded to fill up with food. During all of this he asked about 1000 times if anybody had any nibbles.

Oh and I almost forgot...

Mary sue: At first glance we thought she was one of the volunteers serving food. But on closer inspection we realized she was obvi missing a chromosome or two. After staring at the food for a good 10 mins she finally took a plate and sauntered off. I think she may have been on quailudes.

The Mob?

Crooked contracts, million-dollar bribes and possibly a bunch of hookers. A new mob movie perhaps? Nope. These are the possible reasons behind CIA Director Porter Goss's sudden resignation. At least according to Daily Kos.

*fingers crossed* i hope it's the hookers i hope it's the hookers...

Blech

Last night the BF and I decided it was high time for a date night. And, since the BF had a flex-car all day for work, we decided to go somewhere for dinner that we can't usually get to. What did we decide on? Olive Garden (thanks Dale, for putting that idea in my head. Bitch.). That's right, we drove out to the surburbs for an oversized helping of mannicotti and a great big Tour of Italy. Before you all start hatin' on the OG, the unlimted salad and breadsticks are seriously bomb.

This little trip, however, reminded me how much I. HATE. THE. SUBURBS! Especially the Virginia suburbs. Look, Maryland suburbs are bad too, just not quite as bad. The suburbs are just a trashy mix of fat old people, yuppie straight couples with kids, and a whole lot of SUV's. There aren't even sidewalks in the suburbs. Even if I wanted to walk somewhere, I wouldn't be able to without being hit by a ten-ton Jeep Grand Cherokee driven by an oxycontin addicted soccer mom gabbing away on her cell phone. Anyway, luckily we were only there for about an hour and manged to escape the evil clutches of satan. It was close though.

Side note: The Olive Garden sits in the same parking lot as a Giant that I used to shop at when I lived near by. For split second as we got out of the car I had a mini-panic attack. All I could remember about this Giant was shopping there while the sniper was on the loose. Getting out of my car and ducking as I zigzagged my way across the parking lot into the door. Many of you probably reading this probably weren't in DC (especially the suburbs) during the sniper incident. Well let me tell you, my roommate and I were terrified. We were so nervous going to the grocery stores or pumping gas. And we defintiely weren't the only ones. Not to mention, whenever a white van drove by my heart would go racing. Anytime we'd see police cars and helicopters racing up and down the street knowing that someone else got shot. It was at this time that we'd make out move, running to the store or buying gas. 'Cause if he just shot someone 20 mins away we knew we were safe for a bit. Living like that for a month or however long it was, defintiely not fun. Anyway, sorry for the wild tangent. Whenever I go back to that area it reminds me of that whole mess and how scary it all was.

Random FYI

Quick question. Did you know that tattooing is illegal in the state of Oklahoma. No really, I'm serious. There are obviously people with tattoos in the state, so I guess having one isn't illegal. The state legislature just passed a bill that would legalize it. Apparently because, similar to back alley abortions with a coat hanger, people are going to unregulated artists that might be reusing needles and other stuff, possibly spreading HIV and hepatitis. You can read about it all here.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

Blog Funk

Ok kiddies, I know I've been in a bit of a blog funk recently. I'm gonna try and come up with some new ideas to bring myself out of it. Promise!

Above the law?

Most of us don't really need another reason the despise the current administration. Just for kicks though, I figured I'd throw a little more fuel to the fire. The Boston Globe reported over the weekend on the President's use of signing statements. Essentially they are his official interpretation of a law that he is signing. It's really pretty scary how much he disagrees with...

If you have a few minuted, definitely read the article.

Weekend Delight

As I sit here at my desk, with a serious headache cause by Twin Sister's bartending skills, I thought I'd clue you in to some weekend highlights from Boston.

Friday morning was spent in a serious fight with my job, which unilaterally decided to change the pay schedule without telling anyone. Obvi I won the fight.

Friday evening was spent at a party at Twin Sister's friends house. Grace Jones may have demanded crab rangoon or pizza. Grace Jones also may have made it to the last round of survivor flip cup. Oh, we also went to the Gardner Museum on Friday.

On Saturday I believe we finally left the house around 3. Went into Chinatown to do some shopping. Saturday night we went to hear Tom Stephan spin at Rise, which was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Seriously, Tom Stephan has a way with records that makes my body hurt. The crowd was also a lot of fun...

Sunday morning, my body hurt. We left Boston Sunday evening although our flight was delayed. Obvi we parked ourselves at the airport bar where a woman who had to be Ms. Peruzza was mixing up some mean V&T's. To make matters worse, our flight back was worked by three gay male flight attendants (only one was cute though) who decided they needed to "take care of our own." Obviously the booze was flowing rather freely on the 1 hour flight. Because we felt that we didn't have enough drinks earlier, we decided to cap off the evening at JR's. I think we left around 1:30 ish...