Question

Do you think chronic fatigue is considered a disability. One for which work should make a reasonable accomodation? Mayhaps, by giving me nap time?

I don't think that would be unreasonable.

Wednesday Randomness

1. The bf and I celebrated our one year anniversary this past weekend. We went to a nice dinner on Friday and rented a Flex Car on Saturday to head out to the country for a day. Only thing is, when we went to go pick up the car, we found out that it was stolen. Yes. Somebody had the nerve to steal a Flex Car. We postponed the trip to Sunday, which ended up being tons better weather wise. We went out to Harpers Ferry, which really is a neat little place.

2. So remember how I left my cell phone on the airplane in Tokyo, and was seriously angry that I had to buy a new one? You see, turns out I left it burried deep in my luggage, which I happend to discover over the weekend (three weeks after I purchased the phone). Range of emotions: Pissed (that I didn't actually lose my phone, but bought a new one). Then, bewilderment (honestly, how could I not have seen it in my bag, grumble). Then, elation (wait a minute, Cingular has a 30 day return policy, H.O.T). Sure enough I returned the phone and got my money back. And the process was entirely painless.

3. I'm going to vist a friend next month in L.A. I am excited because I haven't been to L.A. in ages and I could use some nice L.A. weather. Side note: I can only handle the city for a few days (max three) and then I begin to hate it. Los Angeles is like New York for me, love to visit, but could never live there. And before you bitches say "well I guess he just doesn't like big cities then." Not true I say. I just don't like New York or L.A.

4. I am so excited for the first half of the Project Runway season finale tonight. I REALLY hope Jeffrey gets kicked off for cheating. That would make me happy. Oh, along with every one else, I'm seriously disappointed in Michael's collection.

5. Why oh why can't the election be held tomorrow. Four weeks is way too much time for the Republicans to do something devious to boost their poll numbers.

Song of the Week

So I've been searching for this song for two years now, ever since I heard Tom Stephan play it in New York. I had pretty much given up finding it (given that I didn't know the name of it or who it's by) until now.

Snack - This is Not Rock & Roll (Robbie Rivera Afterhours Mix)

Paging Congressman Foley

Have you all been following the Mark Foley scandal? If not, you should be. So, here we have a 50 year-old Republican congressman from Florida who likes to chase after 16 and 17 year-old male congressional pages. On the one hand, that's gross. But on the other hand, I just don't get the impression the pages are all that sweet and innocent. Don't get me wrong, I obviously think what the congressman did was very inappropriate. But being a congressional page means, by definition, you're not stupid. The pages go to Capitol Hill in order to jumpstart their careers in congress. Some of those pages have to be gay. And some of them probably thought, "Shoo, maybe I can get a leg up on everyone else if I fuck a congressman (or at least have IM sex with him)." I'm not saying that makes it right. But anyway I've read most, if not all, of the IM's that have been released. And some of them definitely make it seem like the teen knew what he was doing. For example (via Slate):

ABC News declined to release what follows next, instead summarizing it as follows: "The exchange continues in which Foley and the teen both appear to describe having sexual orgasms" (bolding mine).

We now resume our previously scheduled programming:

For some reason, I just can't get all outraged at what the congressman did. Disgusted, sure. But outraged, nah.

However, I'm perfectly happy to let the voting public, particularly republicans, get riled up and decide to abadon their party in favor of the democrats. Who knows, maybe they'll even topple the Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert. That would be icing on the cake! I do find it kind of ironic that the major improprieties of a closeted gay republican may contribute, perhaps significantly, to the downfall of the Republican Party (a party that generally hates gays) in the mid-term elections.

Unbelievable!

You may or may not have heard that over the weekend a business jet and a Boeing 737 collided over the Amazon jungle in Brazil. While the 737 plunged to the ground killing all 155 people on board (may they rest in peace), miraculously the business jet was able to land at a nearby military base. One of the passengers on the biz-jet was New York Times business travel writer Joe Sharkey. He wrote an amazing first-hand account of the incident and if you have a minute I highly recommend reading it.

Colliding With Death at 37,000 Feet, and Living

SÃO JOSE DOS CAMPOS, Brazil, Oct. 1 — It had been an uneventful, comfortable flight.

With the window shade drawn, I was relaxing in my leather seat aboard a $25 million corporate jet that was flying 37,000 feet above the vast Amazon rainforest. The 7 of us on board the 13-passenger jet were keeping to ourselves.

Without warning, I felt a terrific jolt and heard a loud bang, followed by an eerie silence, save for the hum of the engines....

Read the entire article here...

Sydney Here We Come (and Auckland too)!

I've finally booked our tickets for Australia. The bf and I plus Taylor Jean and Grace Jones if she gets her act together are going to Sydney in March for Mardi Gras. For those of you that don't know, Mardi Gras is Sydney's big gay pride celebration so I imagine it will be a great time. Plus, since these are award tickets, we get a free stop-over and decided to hit up New Zealand while we are down there. I've never been to New Zealand before so am really excited about it. We'll be gone for 12 days so it defintiely isn't one of my usual mini-vacations. If you have any tips for while I'm down there, let me know.

Holy Hangover Batman!

Yesterday morning was spent not hunched over my computer at work, but curled up in bed desperately trying to shake of the mean hangover that was creeping up on me. Brunch at the Beacon, coupled with drinks at Stetson's and JR's. Repeat after me: I am not 21. I can not drink all day and expect no consequences.

Did you know...

...that 25 percent of America's children eat fast-food at least once a day?

Just some food for thought...

Bar fight!

So last night Twin Sister got into a bar fight at DIK bar. There are two things wrong with this picture. 1) Mo's fighting and 2) being at DIK bar. I met Twin Sister after work at JR's. We were planing on having one or two drinks, butn you know how that always ends up. After one or two, suddenly it's power hour, and we could have one more drink right? They are only $2. Then suddenly it's the end of power hour, I'm wasted, and we decide to head to DIK bar for a night cap. Thankfully there is no karaoke like there was on Thursday (when Twin Sister decided it would be fun to belt out Proud Mary after several cocktails). I'm not really sure how it happened but suddenly Twin Sister is fighting with latino guy, I'm grabbing Taylor Jean and Brian to "get his back" and the bartender is kicking the latino and his friend out. As they are going down the stairs Twin Sister decided he's still angry so he pushes one of them down the stairs. Ooops. It was at this point I decided that I didn't need another cocktail and should probably be headed home.

Back, and Exhausted

I've made it back from Tokyo safe and sound. While I had a great time over there, the trip was far too short. And after all the traveling I've done in the past week and a half my body is just exhausted. 8 planes, 32 time zones and 20,000 miles will do that to you. But anyway....

Tokyo was a blast! On Sunday Suman and I wandered around Herajuku and Omotesando and did some shopping. Unfortunately neither of us found anything that we liked. Oh well... Sunday night we met up with Suman's friends Dan and PJ (who were both uber fun people) and headed over to Ageha for a big gay dance party. I was a blown away by how big the place was. I guess I really shouldn't be surprised given how big Tokyo is. We stayed at the club till about 4am. Considering I had about 6 red bull and vodka's I probably could've stayed for another 2 hours. I don't normally drink those but I have to say it is one mean combo. On monday Suman and I had lunch and off I went to the airport for my flight back. I actually slept almost the whole way on my first flight which was really nice. The second one I wasn't so lucky but at least it was only four hours. Grace Jones and the BF picked me up from the airport and we stopped at the Olive Garden on our way back into the city. Mayhaps I ordered the tour of italy. Mayhaps I've got a big pile of leftovers in my fridge at home...

Konichiwa

I made it safely to Tokyo yesterday. The flight over wasn't so bad although I was exhausted by the time I got here. After taking the red eye home from San Francisco on Monday night and turning around two days later an flying over to Tokyo has done crazy things with my internal clock. I don't have too much to report so far on my trip. I'm at Suman's apartment relaxing until he fiinishes work. I wandered around the city a bit this afternoon, and got propositioned by a Japanese "massage" girl. Eeewww. I imagine we'll hit the bars tonight and tomorrow night is a big gay dance party at Ageha. Sounds like it'll be a good time and heaven knows it has been too long since I've hit the dance floor, plus I'm excited to hear what kinda music is being played in the Tokyo gay clubs (I really hope it's not trance!).

I'm Going to Eat Your Baby!

Thursday Night Randomness

1. Mayhaps I've had a glass or two of wine. What of it?

2. Mayhaps this week has driven me to drink. More than I usually would. No. Seriously, this week has kicked my face in. There isn't one thing that has made this week bad, just a lot of little things.

3. I'm going home to San Francisco tomorrow to help celebrate my mom's 60h birthday. For her b-day she wants to take my sister and I to a spa for a day. Go right on ahead...

4. And last but not least.....................


TOM STEPHAN WILL BE SPINNING IN DC ON OCTOBER 20 @ Club Five!!!!!!!!

Long time readers of this blog will know that I seriously heart Tom Stephan (aka Superchumbo).

The only problem with this is that the bf may want me to come to a wedding with him that weekend. Normally there wouldn't be a question, of course I'd go. Except that I may or may not be invited, depending on how many people RSVP. I'm not sure how I feel about that...

Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday to Me-ee. Happy Birthday to me.

I'm now officially a quarter of a century old. Or used to like to say to other people, closer to 30 than 20.

Thanks to all who made it to the surprise party for me on Saturday. While The Mean Girls + the bf did a good job of hiding it from me, I still had it figured out pretty well by Saturday evening. Oh well, definitely still had a blast!

My Bad

Hi Kiddies, sorry I've been a bit absent this week. Somehow over the past weekend I manged to contract pink eye. I know, eeewww gross. Anyway, because of that I've been staying at home trying not to be contagious anymore. Which finally I'm not.

Let's see, what else..... Oh, our TIVO came today!!!!! How excited am I? I didn't realize that you could order TIVO on the website and if you sign a year contract they give you the box for free including free shipping. Ok, it's not totally free, you end up paying a couple more dollars a month but who cares.

Downloaded some fun new music today...

1. Jay Allegro & Kevin Brown - Rip Rhythm (Eddie Amador Remix)
2. My Friend Sam - It's My Pleasure feat Viola Wils (Paul Rincon Mix)
3. Joe T Vanelli - Get It On (Summer Love) feat Rochelle Fleming (Tom Noovy's Remix)

The last one is my favorite of the three...

Raineesha X

This is one of the funniest clips I've seen.

PS. Kudos to Bernie for getting me hooked on this show. It is effing hystarical!

The Friday Five: Music

Five Favorite House/Dance Songs of All Time (at the moment and in no particular order)
1. Supermodel DJ's - @Work
2. DJ Vibe & Tha Zouk - Solid Textures (Main Mix)
3. Superchumbo - Dirtyfilthy
4. Andrea Martin - Share the Love (Hani Hyper Kickass Mix)
5. The Collaboration - Do It Properly (Victor & Peter's NY Club Anthem)

Five Favorite Non-House/Dance Songs
1. Kylie Minogue - Spinnin' Around (my theme song)
2. TLC - Silly Ho
3. No Doubt - Sunday Morning
4. Digital Underground - Humpty Dance (bonus points if you know the lyrics)
5. Tori Amos - Mother

Five Most Hated Songs (that I can think of at the moment. Also keep in mind that I probably only know titles and not artists, and I don't care to look them up).
1. Miss New Booty
2. That song Nelly did with Kelly Rowland that was so popular. HATED IT!
3. Any of the songs with Ashanti and Ja Rule
4. Hips Don't Lie - Shakira
5. That song by DMX that was popular a number of years ago.

Five Favorite Albums
1. Tom Stephan - Essential Mix from Radio 1 (not technically an album, but I don't care)
2. Oscar G - Live@Space (such a good album, and seriously underrated)
3. Tori Amos - Boys For Pele
4. Coldplay - Parachutes
5. Guster - Lost and Gone Forever

Five Favorite DJ's (that I've heard spin live)
1. Tom Stephan
2. David Knapp
3. Abel
4. Manny Lehman
5. Blaine Soileau

Maybe a lady just bought a pint of Chocolate Fudge Brownie and is eating it at her desk like a dateless fat girl on prom night...

Maybe you don't need to be judging...

STOP! You are too drunk to make that phone call

So apparently there are phones in South Korea that have a breathalyzer on it. And when you get too drunk it prevents you from dialing certain people in your phone book. Now, I don't really have a drunk dialing problem, but I certainly know of others that do. The phone will be making an appearance here in the U.S. in the not to distant future. Just think, you're at the bar, you think its a great idea to call that ex of yours for a booty call or what not but instead you get a display: "You are too drunk to make that phone call." It'd be even better if it call you out in a loud tone, sort of like the metro farecard machine when your card gets declined. (From ABC News and Sumanesq)

Tastes Like Chicken

I would like to relay the story of a friend of mine, who, for our purposes we'll call Gretchen. Now, Gretchen, Grace Jones and myself were all hanging out on Friday evening, enjoying a cocktail in the comfort of Grace's new home and just generally taking it easy. Around 1030 I was getting tired so I decided to head home. Gretchen apprently went home around midnight. But when she got home, she decided that maybe she wanted a nightcap to finish off the evening.

So she heads to Cobalt.

Where mayhaps she ran into a person that she went on a (second) date with on Thursday night.

And mayhaps she decided to leave said gentleman alone with his friends and head upstairs to "do a lap. You know, as you do..."

And mayhaps she found herself in a pleasant conversation with another gentleman.

Mayhaps said gentleman was a 21 year-old GW junior.

Possibly they took their pleasant conversation to a quieter corner. Namely the Cobalt bathroom (One of the upstairs stalls too!! Not the single use "hump, bump and dump" room downstairs).

Where mayhaps Gretchen decided she wanted a little taste of chicken (aka the 21 year-old GW junior).

Now why couldn't Gretchen and "the chicken" move their intimate conversation downstairs to the single use ladies room, were most people would have the decency to move this type of conversation? Oh right, her date from Thursday night was downstairs.

Whore.

P.S. The following conversation ensued between myself and Gretchen the next day:

Chris: So, was he cute? Did you go home with him?
Gretchen: Ya he was cute, but no I didn't go home with him.
Chris: Well you seemed to get along just fine in the Cobalt bathroom, why didn't you go home with him?
Gretchen: I didn't want to bring him back to my place 'cause they never leave when you want them to. And I certainly wasn't going back to his place in Foggy Bottom, that's in zone 2. And I'm not paying for a two zone cab ride back home.

Friday Five

1. Last night was spent at JR's taking advantage of their fabulous $9-all-you-can-drink special. Met up with the usual crew to enjoy the festivities. On a scale of 1-10 (1 being sober and 10 being passed out on the floor of JR's) I was a 5 or 6 last night. Not sober, but not hammered either. There is something to be said for moderation.

2. I decided to stop giving creditors the button and instead answered their phone calls while at JR's. By answered I mean held the phone up for them to hear the backgroung noise and waited to see how long before they hungup.

3. I am SOOOOOOOOO bored at work today. Someone please come save me.

4. I was planning on going to Remingtons with the BF and the crew tonight, but instead I think I'd like to stay in with a pint of ben & jerry's, a bottle of pino and a good movie.

5. My mom and sister might be coming out to visit soon. That would be exciting. Unless they try and stay for like a week. Then it would be less exciting.

I have a bridge I would like to sell you

I'm standing in one of my coworkers' office, who also happens to be the tech guy, when our receptionist buzzes him. Here is how the conversation unfolded:

Receptionist: Hi [tech guy], I have a question for you.
Tech Guy: Sure
Receptionist: Is the internet the same in Africa as it is here?
Tech Guy: Ummm, ya. Pretty sure it is........why?
Receptionist: Well, I think this aquaintance of mine in Africa is trying to pull a fast one on me. He is telling me that he can't access his bank records and asking me to do it for him or something like that. I keep trying to tell him that the internet isn't different.
Tech Guy: Ummm, [Receptionist] I think it's probably a scam.
Recptionist: (In a totally serious voice) Really, you think?

Song of the Day

Djuma Soundsystem - Les Djinns (Trentemoller Remix)

This song is way more downtempo than I usually listen to but it is definitely growing on me.

This is a joke. Right?

I found this via On Top, Down Under (who, I just discovered, has a link to my blog). Apparently a radio station in New Zealand is on the lookout for the next hot boyband. They can't possibly be serious, but let me know what you guys think.

From The Edge's website:

"We are on a nationwide search for NEW ZEALAND'S very first BOYBAND and take them to NUMBER ONE on the NZ music charts.

We are giving you the chance to audition for BOYBAND. We are sending out our own Boy Scouts who will search the length of the country to find Hot Boy, Bad Boy, Mummy’s Boy, Fat Boy and Gay Boy!

If you think you have what it takes to be part of the very first NZ BOYBAND - Then get your audition to us!
By either mail, online, calling 0800 BOYSCOUT (0800 269726) or catching our head 'Boy Scout' - CHANG in your town to audition in person. (Location details coming today)

Should you be selected, you will then go through an intense week of Band Camp training that will include choreography, singing lessons, styling and media training to prepare the Top 10 for the head-to-head competition week.

You will then record your debut song with one the industries most esteemed music producers, create a music video, and perform a live opening performance on October 18 at the music industry’s night-of-nights, the New Zealand Music Awards.

Listen to The Edge for all the latest, how you can be part of BOYBAND and how you will decide everything that will make BOYBAND create New Zealand music history!"

Konichiwa

Well kiddies I'm off to Tokyo. Again. This trip though is more similar to my trip to Alaska last year in that I need the miles. Of course, going to Tokyo for a weekend will be fun, but taking the bf to Australia in March will be even more fun. I won't bore you with details, but going to Tokyo will net me enough miles to have two free tickets to Australia, instead of one. And the trip to Tokyo was MUCH cheaper than a flight downunder.

Oh, and I learned my lesson after the last trip. No more of this nonstop-from-the-east-coast-14 hour bullshit. I flew from JFK last time and it was just too long of a trip in coach, especially a daylight flight. This time I'm flying to SF first and then over. It breaks up the trip nicely plus I can upgrade the domestic portions

Weekend Roundup

Friday Night: The bf and I decided to stay in and relax. I was def in bed by like 11. Lame, I know

Saturday: The bf and I finished the paint job we started last weekend. At first I was unhappy with our accent color but it is now growing on me. Finally we can move forward with some of our other furniture purchases. Oh, and we finally got a couch. Of course the effing thing is on backorder but we hope to have it sometime shortly after September 1.

Saturday Night: Hung out at Twin Sister's place then went to the GL for drinks. Grace Jones and I ended up staying at the GL until like 230.

Sunday: I woke up still really loaded from the night before. I didn't think I had drank that much, meh, oh well. Grace, the bf, Taylor Jean and I went to a midday cookout at one of the bf's friends places. It was the perfect day for it too. While I was busy trying to sober up from the night before, the BF was busy trying to take my drunk crown away from me. By the end of JR's at 830, the bf had definitely accomplished his task.

On the tip of my tongue...

Last night, as I was laying in bed slowly drifting off to sleep. I came up with a really good idea for a blog post. Unfortuntely I haven't a clue what that idea is anymore. Grumble. So instead, I'll just give you some randomness.

1. Though I was only sick for two weeks, I feel like I've been out of commission for months. It really is a wierd feeling. The sickness also causeed me to lose over 10 pounds. And I definitely didn't have 10 pounds to spare. Oh well, time to get back to the gym.

2. I am doing good with the not smoking thing. Occasionally I have a really big urge to fall off the wagon, but I've been pretty good (exception, JR's on a thursday night).

3. This summer has not been as fun as summers past. Not really sure why. Maybe it's because I'm so much busier than last year. Or have more responsibility. Or both. Who knows. What I do know is that momma needs a vaca. For like a week.

4. My 25th birthday is less than a month away (September 5th to be exact). I haven't a clue what I'm going to do for it. But unlike some people who approach their 25th with trepidation, I have none of these feelings. To me, it's just another year. With cheaper car insurance and rental car rates.

5. The new Beatport 3.0 beta is awesome. I already felt that Beatport was the best portal to buy music (not the stuff you'd find on iTunes though), but it's gotten even better. The site really does a great job of making browsing easy SO EASY! Plus Beatport has such a huge collection of music from house, to progressive, to hip-hop, d&b, minimal, trance, chill out, breaks, etc... (I promise I don't work for the site. I just REALLY like how easy it makes shopping for music).

6. I got my haircut today with someone other than my normal stylist. My normal stylist used to work at VSL salon but has since moved on. He left when I was so I wasn't able to find out where he was going. If you know where Bill from VSL went, please tell me. I will be your best friend! Anyway, so I went to someone new today. I told her that I had let me hair grow too long and I wanted it short. I guess in her mind short=military buzz cut. Cause that's what I have. Now before any of you snarky bitches say "well why didn't you stop her." I didn't have a chance. She took out the old buzzer and in one fell swoop, gone was my hair. And I was stuck with the length she had chosen for me. Oh well, lesson learned.

I just have to say that Tom Stephan's Essential Mix from Radio 1 (circa 2003) is SO GOOD. It is still by far my favorite mix ever.

Song of the Day

Eric Morillo feat P. Diddy - Dance I said (Masi Mello Heavyweight Remix)

So apparently Eric Morillo and Diddy teamed up to produce this little number. Not something I'd expect Diddy to work on but have to say that it is def HOT. As usual you can find it on BeatPort if you search for label, Subliminal and view all tracks.

PS. Have I mentioned that I'm a big fan of the Subliminal label? They def put out some hot tracks.

It is too hot outside!

Back from the Brink

This past weekend was nice. Got to see my mom and some friends from high school. Didn't get to see my sister this time around, hopefully next time. The bf and his two friends all finished the marathon. For which a) they deserve many kudos and b) deserve to be certified by a mental health professional as crazy.

I am also no longer perched precariously on my death bed. I still have a cough which is bothering me, but at I don't have a the fevers or the chills or the aches and pains. I've also lost over 10 pounds in the last two weeks so I look kinda sickly. My clothes hang off me in a way they haven't in a long time. Will definitely need to be hitting the gym and gaining some weight in the next few weeks.

PS. It has been many days now since my last cigarette. For some reason today has been the worst in terms of cravings. But I have a solution. Everytime I want a cigarette I eat ice cream instead. It's worked so far today. This may also solve my weight loss problem.

Homeward Bound

Well I'm off to San Francisco this evening for a much needed mini-vaca. Most of you are probably thinking, "bitch you just had a mini-vaca all last week." To which I would reply, "Honey, that sickness and staying home from work was anything but a vacation!" Anyway, I'm finally starting to feel better now so it'll be nice to relax at home (on furniture) and enjoy hanging with the family. Plus the BF is running the San Francisco Marathon so obvi I'm gonna cheer him on.

PS. It has been over nine days since I've had a cigarette. Go me!!

Shut Up!!

You will watch this and you will like it!

Super Trooper

Well, I'm still sick. And not really any better than I was last week. I've made it a bunch of days now without smoking so that urge has finally passed. I am, however, starting to get a little concerned about this respiratory infection. I mean, it's been over seven days and I really don't feel any better. In some ways, I feel like a 75 year old grandma, one that needs to pause while walking up the steps, or gets winded walked to the kitchen. Yep, that'd be me. Then there's this horrible cough. It just won't go away. Sometimes it's fine, but others it creeps up on me and won't let go until I'm on the floor curled up barely able to breath.

But anyway, all of this is beside the point. I've realized two things this past week 1) I'm not as young as I used to be and 2) I've got the most amazing bf ever. I knew, even before I was sick, that I had the most amazing bf but this past week just drove it home for me. He has been an amazing trooper: running to the store, cooking dinner, taking care of me, etc while I wake him up in the middle of the night with my coughing fits and leave half empty cups of water all over the place. I'm sure he's just as fed up with this illness as I am but he hasn't said a word of complaint (ok, maybe one or two). I can't tell him enough how much I appreciate everything he has done for me this past week and I hope he knows that I haven't taken any of it for granted...

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Well kiddies, this recent viral respiratory infection that I have has prompted me to try and quit smoking. That's right, I had my last cigarette on Tuesday afternoon. While it seemed like a good idea at the time, obviously I was delerious with fever. Seriously, what was I thinking?

Internal Monologue:
-Gee Chris, the sorry state of your lungs at the moment and your inability to walk to the kitchen, let alone the corner 7-11 to by a pack of cigarettes, really gives a great opportunity to quit smoking.
-That's a good point! I mean the fever, chills, sore joints, fatigue, general feeling of being in the 5th level of hell isn't enough. Let's kick it up a notch or two and go for level 7, we might as well add all the symptoms of nicotene withdrawal.

Well anyways, a day and a half later and so far so good. However, I'd really like to either a) sleep for the next 48 hours until this withdrawal goes away or b) slit my wrists.

PS. Obvi I'm to be avoided for the next day or two as I'll be liable to say nasty things to you that I'll regret later.

Hi all, I had planed on giving you all a nice weekend update yesterday, but instead I woke up feeling like death warmed over. Anyway I still at home, trying to recover from whatever nasty virus is infecting me I'll be sure and post more.

In the mean time, the Readers Digest version of the Weekend Recap.

The weekend was great, The Mean Girls plus Hurricane Josefina were reunited for the first time in ages! It was so nice to be back together again, if only for a weekend.

The Nation closing party was predictebly nuts. Now, we can debate the merits of the place for hours on end (drug invested hole vs. fun place to dance) but we can't debate the fact that Nation was the first gay club I ever went to 5 years ago or that, for good or ill, I spent many a night in those early formative years dancing the night away. I like to think of Nation's closing as the end of one chapter and the beginning of another in the life of Chris.

That's pretty much it. Went to JRs on sunday night got wasted. Came home. OOoh, we di go see Pirates II on Saturday out at Tyson's. Def not as good as the first one, but not bad either. Probably didn't help that we were seated in row 3.

4 Things

Instead of taking the time to write a post of substance. Time which I don't have at the moment. I figured I'd give you this little gem which was sent to me over email.

Four things About me:

Four jobs I've had in my life:
1. Camp counselor
2. Government employee
3. Bank teller
4. Media analyst

Four movies I have watched over and over:
1. Playing by Heart (I highly recommend watching this movie. It is SO good!)
2. Hunt for Red October
3. Elizabeth
4. The Mean Girls

Four place I have lived:
1. San Francisco/Berkeley
2. Washington DC.
3. Freiburg, Germany
4. London

Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Project Runway (more on that later)
2. Lost
3. Star Trek TNG reruns (shut up bitches!)
4. BBC

Four Places I have been on vacation (speaking of, Momma needs a serious vaca!):
1. Sydney
2. Tokyo
3. All over western Europe (and Budapest)
4. Santo Domingo

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Large #3 with a power aid
2. Sushi
3. Cheesecake
4. Turkey and mashed potatoes

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. In bed
2. Sun, beach, frost drink
3. Europe (at the moment I'm itching to head to Munich. Maybe in the fall...)
4. Holding the winning powerball ticket

Took a little break

Hey Kids, sorry about the little break I took. This past weekend was a bit nuts. Saturday night was the bf's birthday party which was a TON of fun. Thanks to all of you who could make it. The fourth of July started out great with a picnic in Rock Creek Park and watching the fireworks from our balcony. The night ended badly however, but won't go into details. \

I don't really have much in the way of news. Will hopefully have a more fun update for you very soon.

Ugh!

I have gotten no less than eight emails this morning at work in which people have signed "Have a great holiday weekend!" Eff you bitches, I have to work on Monday. There's nothing holiday about it. Please don't advertise to me that your boss is oh-so-cool and gave you the day off.

Thursday Randomness

1. Going to the ATM the day before payday is like playing the slots in Vegas. You never know if money's gonna come out. "Come on come on...biiiig money. Gimme three cherries...

[Cherry] "Yes"

[Cherry] "YES"

[Lemon] "Nooooooooooo. I was SO close." :-(

2. This weekend is the bf's birthday. Since he's given me no hints about what to get him, I think I'll just donate $50 to HRC in his name...that'll learn him!

3. I went to the gym for the first time in two weeks yesterday. I don't know why I figured I could just start where I left off. It didn't feel so bad at the time, but man, I am wicked sore.

4. Momma needs a vaca. Preferably to some place with sand and a tiki bar. And whose name begins with T and ends in ahiti. Can someone work that out for me? Thanks.

5. The fire alarm went of at work today around 350. Unlike in college, they actually make you leave the building. So I did. And just didn't come back. Ooops.

Convo's of the weekend

Overheard on Mass Ave.

Homo #1: Hey, we should check out that apartment building, maybe they have something available.

Homo #2: Oooooh ya, that building is real nice.

Homo #1: Whore

Homo #2: Whatevs bitch. Between you, me and Mark, we've probably been inside half the apartment buildings in the city.


Convo Number Two:

Twin Sister: Don't get it in your eye, it burns so bad you'll think you have conjunctivitis.

Taylor Jean [Walking into room]: Ooh what are we talking about? Semen?

Dollar Bills

People with ungodly sums of money normally irritate me (ex: Paris Hilton). But I have to admire Warren Buffet after his recent announcement that he plans to give away nearly all of his HUGE fortune to charity. Seriously. Buffet's fortune is pegged at more than 45 billion dollars and he's giving away 44 billion of it. 30 billion of it is going to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, which is already the worlds largest charity. That foundation will have an endowment that is probably larger than the GDP of most of the countries it operates in.

Oh, and one more thing...

Grace Jones' blog post reminded of a damn fine sight that occured a week or two ago:

Grace Jones and his friend Jamie singing "How Many Licks" by Lil' Kim on the karaoke machine at DIK Bar. With the look on people's faces, you would've though Grace had dropped her pants and taken a shit in the middle of the floor. Priceless.

"I'm not a homophobe, I watch WNBA games..."

White Sox manager Ozzie Guillian's response after calling a journalist a "fag:"

"Guillen said that in his native Venezuela, that word [fag] is not a reference to a person's sexuality, but to his courage. He said he was saying that [journalist Jay] Mariotti is "not man enough to meet me and talk about [things before writing].''

Guillen also told Couch that he has gay friends, attends WNBA games, went to a Madonna concert and plans to go to the Gay Games in Chicago." Read the complete story at ESPN.com.

That's like saying, "I don't hate straight people. I drink beer's once in a while and can fix a flat tire and one time in the car I turned up Bon Jovi really loud and sang along."

That is so 20th century!

So I'm standing in line at Trader Joe's yesterday. Waiting for the women in front of me to finish paying. I see her hunched over something and finally figure out that she is writing a check. WTF? Do people still do that? She hands it over to the cashier who took forever trying to figure out how to make it work. I guess I grew up in the age of debit cards cause I didn't even know you could still pay for groceries and the like with a check. Rent I understand, but groceries? Geeze people get with the program!

Side note: Yesterday was my first Zipcar experience and I have to say I really like it. It was so easy to walk down the street, hop in, and jet off to the grocery store. No more dealing with the Soviet or overpriced Secret Safeways. No more hiking up the hill with five bags of groceries, wishing for just a fleeting instant that maybe you had one of those awful grannie carts. Oh and the cars are nice too.

TGIF!

Not much new to report kiddies. The pad has been working out quite nicely, although we really do need to get some furniture in there. Work has been a bitch, but looks to get a bit better next week. Got rediculously wasted on Tuesday night, not on purpose mind you. Not gonna go into details, but I partially blame this guy for thinking tequila shots were a good idea. I actually had to leave work at 1030 to go home and recover. Now if you know me, you'll know that I NEVER have to call out for being drunk or hungover. That should tell you something...

1) I have a HUGE craving for Wings Over Washington right now. Now, if you've never had Wings Over Washington before I urge you to try it. They are BOMB! I especially urge you to try it if you are any where near the Howard/Catholic University area because it takes some mighty fine sweet talking and an order of $20 or more to get them to deliver all the way to Dupont/Adams Morgan.

2) The bf and I are off to Ikea this evening to hopefully start furnishing our place. Now look, I love Ikea...but really with the names? "Onska?" "Hedsvik?" "Morskopp?" Why not, "table," "bookshelf," "lamp."

3) I signed up for ZipCar today. Am way excited about it. There is only one thing Virginia is good for and that is cheap groceries. Costco here I come.

4) This guy and are planning a trip to Sydney for Mardi Gras in March, with a neat little stop over in Auckland on the way back. Oh and the ticket is free. That's right, remember when all you bitches laughed at me for flying to Alaska? "You're going just for the miles? That's stupid" you said. Not so much anymore, now is it? (Note: #4 does not apply to Kiat or this guy as they never laughed at me. And Kiat will be laughing at me when I tell him I'm probably going in coach).

5) Work blows.

Song of the Day

Alex Santer - Hello? (Original Mix)

I know this song has been out for a while now, and I've owned it for a while now, but I really haven't given it the love it deserves. This song really is hot, and everytime I listen to it or hear it out at the club I like it just a little bit more. Plus it's from the ever awesome Twisted label. Check it out on BeatPort.

Pride...meh...

As many of you know, this past weekend was Pride here in D.C. Normally I'm a huge fan of pride. I love going to the parade and festivals, out to the bars, drinking lots of booze, etc. But this year, for some reason, I just couldn't get into it. I think part of the reason is that last year The Mean Girls all had such an amazing time in San Francisco that we couldn't possibly top it this year. So we didn't even try. Not to mention the fact that Twin Sister's mother-in-law was in town, so he was out of commission and Chocolatte has moved to NY, so obvi he wasn't around. Grace Jones and I did have a ball at Nation on Saturday night, but that was really the extent of our pride celebrations. We are planning to go to New York for pride in two weeks, I'm betting that Pride 2.0 will be a lot more fun.

MIA

Hey All, sorry about the lack of updates this week. My office network has been on the fritz, work has been crazy, and to top it off, everytime I went to post something, Blogger would be down Go figure. Anyway, I promise I'll have more stuff for you next week. In the mean time, Happy Pride!

[Insert Witty Headline Here]

I don't really have anything fun to post about. Yesterday was a bit bizarre, our office network was down most of the day, I had to run and meet the cable guy, the ac in the building is out, and lots of other strange things were happening. Finally at 4pm I decided to call it a day and ran home to watch Star Trek: The Next Generation reruns on t.v. Zip it bitches. Unfortunately, since I didn't get any work done yesterday, I have twice as much shit to do today. Met this guy at JR's on Sunday, didn't get a chance to talk to him much though, unfortunately. Oh, and speaking of JR's on Sunday, Grace Jones and I acutally managed to pace ourselves with the drinks. Shocking I know, but it meant that I actually wasn't hungover on Monday morning. Sort of a strange feeling I might add..

I HATE, that stupid Ms. New Bootie song. The only lyrics I know are "bootie bootie bootie bootie rockin' everywhere..." and they are stuck in my head contantly. Make it stop!

Duck X-ray reveals 'alien head'

Click here for the story...

Blogger has been getting on my nerves today!

Friday Randomness

How happy does it make me that the Dixie Chicks new album opened at number one on the Billboard music chart? Very. I look at it as a big eff you to middle america.

I really don't like the new metro voice. The first time I heard it was last night (tells you how much I ride metro). It just rubs me the wrong way.

I hate tourists. I hate everything that has to do with them. Tour buses, tour groups, matching t-shirts, bottles of white zin (I'm sure this is what they order when at the Hard Rock cafe or ESPN Zone), those stupid trucks that try and hawk 3 t-shirts for $10, and especially, I hate them on the metro. Ok, even though I don't ride metro anymore, I'm hating the tourists on it for you poor souls that do. Especially with their baby strollers and refusal to walk left/stand right, or block to entrance gates so you can't get through.

Today, according to the sign in the elevator, is National Leave Early from Work Day. I fully support this.
I'm a little confused as to they the Department of Homeland Security decided to cut security funding for New York and DC while increasing it for place like Sacramento, Kansas City and St. Louis. Oh and according to the Post, DHS has decided that there are "zero national monuments or icons" in New York City.

Tonight will be the first night spent at my new apartment. The bf and I are doing most of the moving tomorrow, but we're going to move a few necessities in tonight. If anybody wants to help out tomorrow, I'd be your best friend!!

Today is National Leave Early from Work Day. I fully support this.

Three Day Weekend!

I've decided that three-day weekends do some serious damage on my liver. On Saturday night the girls and I threw a party for Chocolatte, who has finally made the move to New York city. We are all, obviously, sad to see him go. And in true Mean Girl fashion, we threw one mean party to send him on his way. These fine ladies were in attendance as well. The true liver destroyer though was Sunday. Not quite sober from the night before, the girls and I decide to head over to the Beacon for all-you-can-drink brunch. Following that we head back to Twin Sister's place to relax and recuperate from brunch, and perhaps finish off a magum of Pinot Grigio between the two of us. It was at this point that things began to go sour. Twin Sister's bf, sensing that some of us were starting to drag, decided it would be a good idea to hand out Vivren (basically caffein pills). Two of these and a near-vomit at JR's later I realize I've had enough and head home to blissfully pass out. Only problem is, the vivren wouldn't let me pass out. So there I am, WASTED, but unable to pass out. I finally fall asleep like 4 hours later and wake up to a rediculous hangover. The result of all of this? I'm swearing off booze for a bit. Now don't worry kiddies, it'll only be a week or two. But I think we all out-did ourselves this weekend and, for me at least, I need a teeny tiny break.

Letter

Dear Mother Nature,

I am not ready for the humidty. It makes DC feel like a Laotian jungle. Please postpone it for a few weeks.

Thanks,
-Management

No More Casual Friday

The uber-boss has sent out an email reiterating the company's dress code policy. Obvi this was only directed to me, as I would most often roll into work in jeans and a t-shirt. Definitely not up to code. Whatevs, I don't mind that I know have to actually look professional. What bothers me is that he also said "we do not have a casual Friday." Huh? Well we certainly did have a casual Friday. So why the change? I think it's cause he's older, and older people just don't really like casual Friday. In my opinion it's a stupid move. While it might seem trivial, casual Friday is probably the easiest and cheapest thing you can do to boost employee morale. It just makes us happier.

Maybe I'll go on strike and institute my own casual friday. Fire me bitches. See if I care...

Monday Randomness

1. I woke up this morning with my hand in a bag of french fries. Hot

2. Bernie (aka Grace Jones) apparently left his cell phone in a cab last night.

3. I have met the bf's parents, who are both awesome. Sample convo:

The bf's mom: I can't wait for you two to adopt kids.
The bf: Mom, we need to adopt a couch first.

4. I'm craving a double quarter pounder.

That is all.

My office mate Kate has finally jumped on the blog bandwaggon. Or I should say, re-jumped as she started a blog a while ago but kinda stopped. Anyway check it out if you get a chance.

Well kiddies I'm off to Pittsburgh this weekend to meet the bf's parents. Should be fun. Not really looking forward to the car ride there and back though :-(

Perhaps...

...I took a two hour lunch with Grace Jones today.

Perhaps we went to Lauriol Plaza and had a margarita. Or two.

Perhaps I'm slightly drunk at my desk at work.

And what?

Flowers in your hair

I was in San Francisco this past weekend, visting with the family for mother's day. The bf came with me and met my mother for the first time. It went really well, not that I had any doubts though. Sadly though the trip really didn't feel like a vacation. Flew out on Friday evening and back here on monday morning. BTW, the travels on monday were a serious clusterfuck. I guess I don't usually travel on monday morning's when lots of business men and women take flight to their jobs. Note to the wise, avoid it like the plague. A bumped flight and three stand-by lists later I finally made it home (although I did get a free ticket out of the deal).

Side note: I was, remakably, booze free this weekend.

Second side note: Driving back from the metro station with my mom and the bf, we were on the freeway when two motorcycles sped past us at about 85 miles an hour. One of them was doing a wheelie and fell off of his bike and slid across three lanes of traffic. Barely being missed by other cars. Luckily he didn't get hit, and managed to stand up (but then fall back down), so he wasn't dead. Still though, it kinda shook me up for the rest of the day with lots of thoughts of our own mortality...

Anyway sorry for the Debbie Downer moment!

Memo to the Mean Girls

You are all evil and you need to be destroyed.

Thanks,
-Management

PS. Two ruphies, not three. Don't get carried away!

Taxation Without Representation

About effing time!

My fortune cookie wisdom of the day. Curtesy of the all-you-can-eat chinese lunch buffet at 14th & L (only $6.99 too!!):

Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.

Song of the Day

Tonight (Starkillers NYC Edit) - DJ Rooster & Sammy Peralta

Apparently this song tore up the Winter Music Conference in Miami this year. I can see why. It is HOT. Sample lyrics include:

Move it, Pump it, Shake it all around
With your low cut jeans and the g-string showin'
You know I wanna hit it, you know I'm gonna get it
So get closer and let's get down

Throw your legs over the bed
Work me out, turn me out, inside and out
You know the way I like the things that you do
Slap, crack, back and yo....

You can find it on Beatport.

My body aches...

I'm not sure if it's because of the huge amounts of vodka I drank, or the cold that I feel is coming. Whatever it is, my body hurts.

PS. Someone forgot to lock the doors on the mental hospital yesterday because those bitches were out in force in Dupont Circle. It was a serious cast of characters which may or may not have included:

Santa Claus: He obvi got the APB on the free food they were handing out and hustled over on his bicycle with cart in tow. Miscellaneous contents said cart included a plastic deck chair and plywood.

Grandpa Simmons: Even though he had a HUGE pile of food on his plate he wasn't happy. Most likely upset at the lack of pork ribs.

The Preacher: There she was, strollin' through the circle in her fierce sun dress (obvi with a little slip showing), bright yellow purse and a weave that hasn't been changed since 1974. She eventually left in a huff after two gay guys started laughing at her. No bitches, Chocolatte and I were not the two that caused her to leave.

And finally we have....

Nibbles: I'm not really sure what this man's deal was. He showed up to the circle with not one, but two cowbow hats on. One was metallic, shimmery rainbow color. He also showed up with an aluminum pan (like the kind at a catering event), which he proceeded to fill up with food. During all of this he asked about 1000 times if anybody had any nibbles.

Oh and I almost forgot...

Mary sue: At first glance we thought she was one of the volunteers serving food. But on closer inspection we realized she was obvi missing a chromosome or two. After staring at the food for a good 10 mins she finally took a plate and sauntered off. I think she may have been on quailudes.

The Mob?

Crooked contracts, million-dollar bribes and possibly a bunch of hookers. A new mob movie perhaps? Nope. These are the possible reasons behind CIA Director Porter Goss's sudden resignation. At least according to Daily Kos.

*fingers crossed* i hope it's the hookers i hope it's the hookers...

Blech

Last night the BF and I decided it was high time for a date night. And, since the BF had a flex-car all day for work, we decided to go somewhere for dinner that we can't usually get to. What did we decide on? Olive Garden (thanks Dale, for putting that idea in my head. Bitch.). That's right, we drove out to the surburbs for an oversized helping of mannicotti and a great big Tour of Italy. Before you all start hatin' on the OG, the unlimted salad and breadsticks are seriously bomb.

This little trip, however, reminded me how much I. HATE. THE. SUBURBS! Especially the Virginia suburbs. Look, Maryland suburbs are bad too, just not quite as bad. The suburbs are just a trashy mix of fat old people, yuppie straight couples with kids, and a whole lot of SUV's. There aren't even sidewalks in the suburbs. Even if I wanted to walk somewhere, I wouldn't be able to without being hit by a ten-ton Jeep Grand Cherokee driven by an oxycontin addicted soccer mom gabbing away on her cell phone. Anyway, luckily we were only there for about an hour and manged to escape the evil clutches of satan. It was close though.

Side note: The Olive Garden sits in the same parking lot as a Giant that I used to shop at when I lived near by. For split second as we got out of the car I had a mini-panic attack. All I could remember about this Giant was shopping there while the sniper was on the loose. Getting out of my car and ducking as I zigzagged my way across the parking lot into the door. Many of you probably reading this probably weren't in DC (especially the suburbs) during the sniper incident. Well let me tell you, my roommate and I were terrified. We were so nervous going to the grocery stores or pumping gas. And we defintiely weren't the only ones. Not to mention, whenever a white van drove by my heart would go racing. Anytime we'd see police cars and helicopters racing up and down the street knowing that someone else got shot. It was at this time that we'd make out move, running to the store or buying gas. 'Cause if he just shot someone 20 mins away we knew we were safe for a bit. Living like that for a month or however long it was, defintiely not fun. Anyway, sorry for the wild tangent. Whenever I go back to that area it reminds me of that whole mess and how scary it all was.

Random FYI

Quick question. Did you know that tattooing is illegal in the state of Oklahoma. No really, I'm serious. There are obviously people with tattoos in the state, so I guess having one isn't illegal. The state legislature just passed a bill that would legalize it. Apparently because, similar to back alley abortions with a coat hanger, people are going to unregulated artists that might be reusing needles and other stuff, possibly spreading HIV and hepatitis. You can read about it all here.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

Blog Funk

Ok kiddies, I know I've been in a bit of a blog funk recently. I'm gonna try and come up with some new ideas to bring myself out of it. Promise!

Above the law?

Most of us don't really need another reason the despise the current administration. Just for kicks though, I figured I'd throw a little more fuel to the fire. The Boston Globe reported over the weekend on the President's use of signing statements. Essentially they are his official interpretation of a law that he is signing. It's really pretty scary how much he disagrees with...

If you have a few minuted, definitely read the article.

Weekend Delight

As I sit here at my desk, with a serious headache cause by Twin Sister's bartending skills, I thought I'd clue you in to some weekend highlights from Boston.

Friday morning was spent in a serious fight with my job, which unilaterally decided to change the pay schedule without telling anyone. Obvi I won the fight.

Friday evening was spent at a party at Twin Sister's friends house. Grace Jones may have demanded crab rangoon or pizza. Grace Jones also may have made it to the last round of survivor flip cup. Oh, we also went to the Gardner Museum on Friday.

On Saturday I believe we finally left the house around 3. Went into Chinatown to do some shopping. Saturday night we went to hear Tom Stephan spin at Rise, which was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Seriously, Tom Stephan has a way with records that makes my body hurt. The crowd was also a lot of fun...

Sunday morning, my body hurt. We left Boston Sunday evening although our flight was delayed. Obvi we parked ourselves at the airport bar where a woman who had to be Ms. Peruzza was mixing up some mean V&T's. To make matters worse, our flight back was worked by three gay male flight attendants (only one was cute though) who decided they needed to "take care of our own." Obviously the booze was flowing rather freely on the 1 hour flight. Because we felt that we didn't have enough drinks earlier, we decided to cap off the evening at JR's. I think we left around 1:30 ish...

Sorry for the lack of posts, work has been CRAZY this week. Am of to Boston tomorrow for a fun weekend with Twin Sister, his bf and Grace Jones.

PS. This weekend will complete the dance trifecta, after this I will be back to my normal non-clubbing self. Well, at least until June.

Weekend Awards

Friday night: First off, I'm not even sure what we did on Friday...oh wait that's a lie. The Mean Girls plus these fabulous ladies had some mean drinks served up by this gentleman. Not sure who got the Spletty but I guess it would be me by default. Sure enough left my jacket in the bar which I had to go pick up on Saturday.

Saturday: Went to Cherry expecting to have a blast but instead was only "meh." Peter Rauhofer probably served up some fierce beats, but we couldn't really tell because the sound system was shitty. Still though, there were a couple of times we tore a whole in the dance floor. Plus Dave & Forty were there and they are always a good time to hang out with. Chocolatte definitely won the Josefina award.

Sunday Morning: I believe Grace Jones won the second installment of the Josefina award at Platinum. Chocolatte and I passed on this party so Grace's award is technically hearsay...

P.S. Grace's favorite dance, the "Tardo on Christmas" is truly magical and must be witnessed at some point in your life, sort of like a pigrimage to mecca.

Sunday Evening: Definitely a group Spletty at JR's this evening, although I'm sort of thinking that Chocolatte edged out the rest of us.

Pop Quiz

Ok kiddies, pop quiz. Based on this paparazi picture, how many drinks do you think I had (Hint #1: I'm on the left. Hint #2: I don't remember the picture being taken)?

Divas to the Dancefloor Please

Saturday night at Nation was a blast. The girls and I decided to come out of retirement for an evening of fun with David Knapp. Grace Jones won the inaugural Josefina award. Although towards the end of the night Twin Sister was giving Grace a run for her money.

If you've never heard David Knapp spin before, he likes to keep it fun and uplifting with lots of vocals and such. The antithesis of Victor Calderone if you will. Some of the songs he played include (in no particular order):

My Humps - Black Eyed Peas
Bring It On - Debby Holiday
Rythmn Intoxication - Rosabel
El Tigre - Ralphi Rosario
Love Will Find A Way - Vernessa Mitchell
Fascinated - Suzanne Palmer
S.O.S - Rhianna(which was HOT)
It Makes a Difference - Kim English (wasn't a big fan of this one)
I want More - Amuka
Be Without You - Mary J Blige
Mesmerized - Faith Evans
Walk Away - Kelly Clarkson (also HOT)
Sorry - Madonna
Crash - Gwen Stefani
Luxurious - Gwen Stefani
Gimme Some Love - DJ's Are Alive
U Know I Love It - Superchumbo
Sweat - Tom De Neef vs. Mochico (was not expecting to hear this, this is song is AWESOME)
That Feeling - DJ Chus

I'm pretty sure he played a remix of Bette Midler - Fever and I know he played my all time favorite song, Veronica - Someone to Hold. Btw, the latter song is like 5 years old but it still brings everyone to the dancefloor.

Memo

Dear Nation Patrons,

There may be some holes on the dance floor this evening. Please be advised that Chris, Grace Jones and Twin Sister are coming out of retirement and will likely burn multiple holes in the floor. You have been warned.

Thanks,
-Management

MIA

Apparently I missed some good times last night on the strip. While I would have loved to have been there, I was instead pitched in an epic battle against the sour-milk latte I mistakenly ingested just after work yesterday. Let me tell you kids, Sour Milk+Human Stomache=NOT PRETTY!

In the immortal words of Dale:

Die effing week
You fucked me like the prom queen
I hope you get crabs

This about sums up my week perfectly. Anyone up for $9 all-you-can-drink?

One more thing...

Oh so I forgot to mention about my taxes. As you may recall I owed DC some money from last year and they decided to gank it out of my federal tax refund. Since they took ALL of my tax refund I figured I probably still owed them some money. Today, after having braved the D-40EZ I decided to bite the bullet and find out. At ten o'clock I cleared out my schedule for the next hour and picked up the phone. If any of you have at to deal with any level of the DC government (particularly the DMV) than you know that it's often easier, and more pleasent, to remove your own spleen with scissors and a butter knife. I very much expected to be on hold for a good 45 minutes only to have Ethel or Taikwondiesha pick up the phone and tell me I had dialed the wrong number (see above pic).

But, my friends, today was my luck day. After navigating the phone tree, surprisingly easy I might add, I was put on hold and told that my phone call would be answered in "two minutes." WTF, is this some fucked up April Fools joke? Sure enough 30 seconds later a lovely young woman answers the phone (see below pic) and is extremely helpful. "Yes you still owe us money, but it's only $9.30 so if your refund is greater than that [it is], you have nothing to worry about." Here's the kicker, at the end of the convo she actually said "have a nice day." I must be in the twilight zone, or I should really go play powerball.

There is only two things certain in life...

...death and taxes. Just a gentle reminder that, if you're like me and you haven't filed all of your taxes yet, you only have a left week to do it. Also if your like me, single (well, not married) with no dependents and no serious deductions, it only takes like 20 mins.

And the Award Goes To...

This weekend, several Spletty's were handed out. Side note: Aren't my friends great? They've named a drunk award after me. I think they might be trying to send me a message. Anyway without further ado:

Friday Night: This was a doubles award, like Ice Dancing, that went to Twin Sister and his bf. Not sure what happened, but TS was slurring his words so bad by the time we got to JR's. He couldn't even finish his first drink and had to be taken home. TS's bf was not too far behind in this regard. I think by default Twin Sister gets the award for this evening because you know he has to be REAL wasted to not be able to finish a drink.

Saturday Night: I obviously got the award for this evening. In the words of Dale, I was definitely blackout. I don't remember anything after Taylor's house, but apparently I was adament about not getting in a cab home.

Sunday Afternoon: This day saw a close race all the way to the finish. Grace Jones and I sort of conspired to give the award to Chocolatte but at the last minute Grace's friend Brian upstaged us all to come away with the prize. Or so I've been told. I was home and in bed long before this all happened. PS. Our bill from Biddy's had 21 long island ice teas on it. There is something seriously wrong with us. I think I'm gonna have to go on a Biddy's hiatus for a bit. It does far too much damage to my liver and my bank account.

Song of the Day

S.O.S (Chris Cox Remix) - Rhianna (click here for an audio sample - you may need to register)

The song is HOT. There is a nice little sample of Tainted Love in there, one of my favorite songs of all time. Try and find it if you want to have a dance party in your office!

Zach Morris

So I broke down and got a new cell phone. I decided to just eff it and get the free one. I don't really need all that fancy shit. I just want to make phone calls and send text messages. Unfortunately the free phone is the size of a brick. Oh well. Anyway, the upshot is that I wasn't able to trasnfer a lot of my phone numbers over to my new phone. So if I got your number in the past year, most likely I no longer have it. So send it to me bitches csplet(at)yahoo(dot)com.

Thanks,
-Management

PS. Twin Sister yelled at me for posting my email address, but I helpfully reminded him that any intrepid person could click on my profile to find it.

Jetlag

Well I'm back from my trip finally. Overall it was a pretty good time. As I mentioned before, I didn't really do too much. Except for my side trip to Amstredam. I have to say, it was a bit stange staying with my friend and her husband. She is the same age I am, 24, but they are definitely an old married couple already. Not the movers and shakers that we are here in DC. And they definitely don't drink nearly as much as we all do here. I knew this almost instantly when i got to their place and opened the fridge to see a half drank bottle of wine. Huh? I mean seriously, who opens a bottle of wine and doesn't finish it? Split between two people, a bottle of wine is only like 2 or three glasses each. That's barely buzz-worthy.

My other clue that they are an old married couple happened on Saturday night. Around 11pm. When they decided it was bed time. I don't really know what to say to that. In her defense, my friend was sick. And since her husband is w-h-i-p-p-e-d, he obvi wouldn't go out without her. Anyway despite all of this, it was still really great to see both of them.

Oh and a few quick comments on Brussels. I've reaffirmed my opinion that I really don't like the city. It's a dirty city, kinda like Paris. Dirty buildings, dog shit on the streets, non-existent customer service. If you are thinking of going there. Don't. It's not really worth it. And if you are looking for the French type of experience, you'd be much better off going to Paris (another city I'm not really fond of).

Side note: Kiat- I owe you a million thanks for the drink coupons, they made my flights bearable. And the people sitting next to me rediculously jealous. Thanks!!

Where's Waldo

Hello Kiddies. Brussels has been great. Been around town, seen the sights, etc etc... My friend has been battling a sickness so we haven't really gone out much. Ok, at all. But it's all good considering I've been trying to destroy my liver the past few weekends. I'm writing this post from an Easy E in Amsterdam. Those of you who studied abroad may know what an Easy E is (easyInternetcafe). They are all over London and a couple of other cities. Anyway, my friend is home sick from work today and her husband had a bunch of errands to run so I decided to take a little side trip up here since I've never been before. That it only took me three hours by train is one of the neat things about Brussels. When I was trying to decide where to go I had so many options:

London: 2h 30m
Paris: 1h 10m
Cologne: 2h 20m (ish)
Amsterdam: 3h

Plus many other smaller cities...

Cologne was the cheapest but I'd been there before, London and Paris were not so cheap. So Amsterdam it was. Anyway time is running out. Hope you are all doing well. See you when I get back.

PS. Did you know that they sell shrooms in shops here. Legally. If I was into that sort of thing this would be really cool. But I'm not. So the novelty is lost on me.

PPS. Yes they also sell weed here in shops. Legally. But I knew that already. But I'm not really into that either.

Oh and one more thing. For some reason on this trip jet lag has been a bitch. Usually, coming to Europe, it doesn't really get to me. Those bi-monthly trips to Germany 2 years ago got me really used to it I guess. Been a while I suppose...