Cell Phone Issues

My friend Sara is having cell phone issues. Apparently she lost all of her numbers (we've all had this cataclysmic event happen at some point) and she sent me an email asking to re-give her my number. This is the email she sent me, I sincerely encourage you to read the whole thing, it'll make you laugh:

A Cell Phone Study

Subjects:

Cell phone (henceforth known as "Subject C" or "C")

Sara ("Subject S" or "S")

Characteristics:

Subject C: 7 months, mobile telephone, Marked suicidal tendencies, certain air of indifference towards completion of job requirements, fits beautifully in designated cell-phone pockets in purses, enjoys losing service only in periods of extreme hot and cold weather to force Subject S to take Subject C outside.

Subject S: 24, Female, Ignores repeated requests by outside contacts to replace Subject C, tendency to anthropomorphize objects such as cell phone, lighters, etc.

Time period of study: 6 months

History of interactions between subject C and S

1) Attempted suicide by C by plummeting 6 stories

Status:

C: Survived with minimal damage

S: Very mild heart attack

Observations: First reported instance of Subject C's suicidal tendencies, Subject S is possibly seen as enabler for allowing Subject C to sit outside on high balconies. Note, Subject S did not institutionalize C at this instance and was heard to in fact laugh and joke about Subject C's attempt.

2) Vow of silence

Status:

C: Inconclusive, due to subject's refusal to speak, sole communication method- vibrations and flashing lights

S: Mild frustration mixed with appreciation of never hearing annoying motorola delivered ring-tones

Observations: It is noted that Subject C did have access to readings on methods of "peaceful protest." Observers hypothesize that Subject C was "acting out" in response to S's cavalier attitude towards C's mental state and instances of what is known as "drunk dialing."

3) Withholding Voice and Text Messages on Subject S's birthday

Status:

C: Appeared content and pleased with self; provided no apology to Subject S, even refused to discuss the situation

S: Appeared mildly depressed and older

Observations: Subject C shows cruelty to S. At this time, S considered sending C for "re-education" at a private institution funded by motorola, continues to profess love of C to outside contacts.

4) Sim Card Destruction

Status:

C: Repeatedly requested for S to "Check Sim Card" and would only put through "Emergency Calls" as deemed by the cell phone, to be only numbers beginning in 9. Shows some concern for subject "S"'s general welfare, but complete disregard of possible social life.

S: grrrr [sic]

Observations: Subject C has forced subject S to finally take note of growing mental instability. Subject S speaks to professionals (Cingular)

5) Replacement of Sim Card, Resetting of Phone Settings, and loss of all numbers

Status:

C: Appears to accept and welcome imminent destruction

S: Regret mixed with anger and frustration

Conclusions:

Marked shift in S's attitude towards assisted suicide; fear of own mental-health in light of Subject C's instability.

Subject C will permanently separate from Subject S for counseling and refurbishment.

Subject S will attempt to retrieve telephone numbers previously maintained by C by writing incredibly silly emails, in hopes that outside contacts will email Subject C with contact information to be provided to Subject C's successor.

Thank you.

-The only thing I changed was the bolding of the subjects, to make it a bit easier to follow. Feel free to pass along, just give credit where it's due.

Convo-of-the-day

Office Mate Kate: I have to go to wedding this weekend in Boston and I kinda don't want to.
Me: Why, who's wedding?
OMK: Ugh, this big fat bitch that Mke (her bf) went to college with. The girl is a tool and has always been super mean to me.
Me: Eff that! Don't go.
OMK: But see, she used to have a crush on Mike. So I have to go and show her that I got him and she didn't. And I'm going to look FABULOUS.

Polar Express

Normally I'd give you a weekend round-up, one hopefully filled with fun and booze. This weekend, however, was spent on a plane. Well, more precisly, six of them. My 30 hour trip to Alaska was pretty un-eventful. My plane to NY was delayed, of course. But not too much. Here are some highlights from the trip:

1. There are some seriously hot guys in Alaska. Not really sure why. Maybe it's the rugged mountain man look or whatnot, but I noticed this as I was wandering around the airport (that's pretty much all I did while I was there). There are also several military bases nearby so maybe that had something to do with it.
   
2. US Airways pretty much sucks. Three of my six flights were on US Airways, and all three of those flights were delayed. Moreover, the flight attendants just did not seem to want to be there. In contrast all of the United flights were on time, with generally happy crews that seemed to actually be enjoying what they were doing. Not to mention that United has Economy Plus (which makes a HUGE differnce), and channel 9 which lets you listen in on air traffic control. And since I'm a geek, this is a big deal to me.
3. By flight number four, I was OV-ER-IT! I don't how people do it, but I defintiely don't want to have to do this again unless I absolutly have to. There are people out there that fly to Singapore, stay 7 hours, and fly back. They are crazy.
   
4. Airport food really sucks. So does airplane food.
   
5. Reading the latest issue of OUT on the airplane can often score you some free booze from the flight attendant (on two seperate flights for me).
   
6. Alaska was warmer than DC. Seriously. It was 35 when I landed. Furthermore, Anchorage is actually a city. I guess I was imagining landing on some dirt airstrip in the frozen tundra, surrounded by igloos. Not the case.
   
7. I didn't get to see the Northern Lights :-(
8. The movie on my flight from Denver to Anchorage was Polar Express. Hmmm.
   

Sunday night went to JR's. Didn't end up staying too long as the BF had been there since 2 and was LOADED. The main reason I went was to demand my invite to the christmas party which never showed up in the mail. Grrrr. The party's tomorrow. Yea.

Oh, and I almost forget. Our office christmas party was on Friday at La Chaumiere. It was definitely some fun times, I drank alot but didn't make a fool of myself. Unlike one of my coworkers. She was pounding martini's like it was her J-O-B. I was almost going to say something to her but then figured it be more fun to watch the aftermath. I was right. By the end of the night we had move to a bar in Georgetown (I only stayed for one drink before I could catch the GT cooties), and she was making out with another girl (I think she did it for attention). I also am pretty sure our intern is gay.

Bitches

So I was reading a transcript of an interview that Ang Lee, the Director of Brokeback Mountain, did on the Charlie Rose Show. I'm happily reading along and then all of a sudden, BAM. He give away the ending. Just like that. "blah blah blah a story of forbidden love blah blah blah epic love story blah blah blah [gives away the ending]." What. The. Fuck? Can I get a spoiler alert please? I'm obviously still gonna go see the movie, but they didn't give it all awayl...uugghh...bitches.

Office Christmas Party

Sorry about the brief blog hiatus, I don't really have an excuse, just didn't really have anything to blog about.

Anyway, tonight is our office christmas party. In the past, these have sometimes gotten a bit out of hand, what with the top shelf open bar and such. Also in the past, these parties have been during the week, on a tuesday or wednesday. This year it's on a Friday. Free booze+ my coworkers+plus friday night= recipe for disaster. I have to keep myself in check this evening as I'm flying off to Alaska tomorrow and the last thing I want is to be wickedly hungover (or still drunk). My coworkers on the other hand...

Letter

Dear Yahoo! Search,

Can you please explain to me why, when someone enters, "BIG GAY RIG DRIVER FUCKING OLD MEN" into your search engine, you feel the need to direct people to my blog? I am not a big gay rig driver, am not an old man being fucked by one, nor do I have pictures of said incident. While I don't really care if your users are directed to my site, they will only be dissatisfied with your search engine when they don't find what they are looking for.

Thanks,
-Management

Weekend Round-Up

There really isn't much a of weekend to report. I spent most of being sick and crancky with a cold. Despite that, on Friday I managed to make it over to Nick & Bernie's place for a little party. I only had 4 dranks (granted they were dixie cup style, naturally 1/2 vodka 1/2 mixer) and managed to get wiggedy wasted. The BF and I miraculesly found a cab at 1st and Rhode Island at 2 in the morning.

Spent most of Saturday either in bed or at work. On Saturday night we all tundled even further out to a party at 15th and A NE. There was a small arguement between the BBC and I over what part of the city we were in. He claimed we were in Capital Hill. While I claimed we were in the Ghetto.

Spent all day yesterday in bed and in front of the TV. Didn't even go out to JR's last night, which is a pretty good indication of how shitty I was feeling yesterday. Am feeling a bit better today, although at the moment there is snow falling. And you know how I feel about snow...

Last night

My. Head. Hurts. Last night after work I raced home to let Nick in so that he could (finally) move his shit out of my place. Afterwards I trekked back in to the city to meet up with Twin Sister and the BF for some drinkies. It's been several weeks since I've been to JR's on a thursday and for some reason Twin Sister and I felt we needed to make up for lost time. First of all, there was a serious cast of characters out last night. Nick's Nemesis, Back Seat of a Durango, several of Twin Sister's tricks...they were all out. After several cocktails it was pushing 10pm and we did what any self respecting gay boy would do. Trip over to the GL for shirtless men drink free.
Side note: WTF is up with the HUGE dixie cups they serve you. Look I understand I should probably excercise some restraint when it comes to drinking, but don't they know Chris+Drinks=Fat girl+Cake. Neither of us know when to say when. Finally 11 rolled around and the BF and I decided that we'd had enough. We left Twin Sister at the bar and headed home.
Second Side note: In retrospect it was probably not a good idea to set Twin Sister loose in the GL by herself. Especially given the text message I received from him (at 410am): "Call me when you wake up to make sure I am up. I have quite then story for you." I called him twice this morning but he did not pick up. Whatevs, I did my part.

Double-Take

I'm getting ready to leave work, and I head to Washingtonpost.com just to check the headlines before I shut off my computer, and what do I see there on the home page?

South African Court Rules for Same Sex Marriage

My initial reaction was that it must've been some lower court ruling that would quickly be overturned by the legislature or a higher court. But no. It was the country's Supreme Court which gave the legislature one year to change the words "husband" and "wife" to "spouse." This one sentence in particular caught my eye:

"The Southern African Catholic Bishops' Conference said it would oppose the ruling in parliament but acknowledged that it had no prospect of stopping the legalization of same-sex marriage."

Am I reading this right? South Africa is poised to become only the fifth country in the world to recognize same-sex marriage? I'm blown away by this. The continent of Africa, along with the countries in the Middle East, are some of the most stridently opposed to homosexuality, let alone gay unions. In a whole host of countries homosexuality is punishable by death, in sometimes painful ways (stoning, hanging, etc...). I've always wanted to go to South Africa and this gives me one more reason why I should.

Song of the Day

Tom Stephan has started his own label (Cumbomundo), and the first release is finally out. It is H-O-T.

Here I Come - Tom Stephan (Superchumbo Vocal, Jamie J Sanchez Mix, DJ Rooster & Sammy Peralta Mix)

All three mixes are very good. Haven't yet decided which one I like best. Either the Superchumbo or Jamie Sanchez.

Find them all at BeatPort

Suman has finally jumped on the blog bandwagon and started his own. I'm a little mad that his looks cooler than mine...

Snack Time

Most days at around 330 or 4pm I get a hankering for a snack. And today was no exception. So I trundled myself across the street to Rite Aid to see what I could fine. Maybe a bag of chips, or some M&M's. What did I come back with? A pint and a half of Reese's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream. And don't you know I already have that bad boy open, on my desk, with a spoon. Sans bowl.

My First Mileage Run

As the New Year approaches, frequent fliers everywhere are making a list and checking it twice. Do they have status secured for next year? Unfortunately, I don't. Which means that I have to take my very first mileage run (Read this article for a good explanation of what I mileage run is). Currently I have 41,403 elite qualifying miles, and I need 50,000 to keep premier executive for next year, meaning I'm 8,597 miles short. That's kind of a lot. I checked Europe, I checked Asia, but nothing was cheap. After reading the above referenced article, I decided to check out Anchorage, Alaska and sure enough, came up with a cheap enough ticket. So here's the trip I'm taking next Saturday (Dec 10):

Washington National (DCA) - NY, LaGuardia (LGA) 10:00 - 11:10
NY, LaGuardia (LGA) - Denver, CO (DEN) 13:40 - 16:05
Denver, CO (DEN) - Anchorage, AK (ANC) 17:26 - 21:11
Anchorage, AK (ANC) - Denver, CO (DEN) 23:30 - 06:34
Denver, CO (DEN) - Pittburgh, PA (PIT) 07:50 - 12:37
Pittsburgh (PIT) - Washington National (DCA) 16:00 - 16:57

Total elite qualifying miles: 8,730 which will put me 133 miles over the 50 thou mark. Kinda cutting it close I know, but it's definitely worth it. And the total cost was about $400. Not bad at all.

Twin Sister is going to be pissed that I'm missing White Party @ Nation though...

Weekend Round-up

Well I have to say, this past weekend was quite entertaining. I definitely consumed enough food and booze to last me until christmas. Let's recap shall we:

Wednesday: I spent most of the day on the train to Boston. At 6.5 hours it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Took the Acela Express which is nice and roomy, the train was crowded, but not standing-in-isles crowded. I was definitely over it by hour 5 though. After a quick shower and costume change at Twin Sister's mom's house, we decided to head out to the bars to meet some of his friends from high-school. We started out at a straight bar but eventually made our way to the gays. By this time we were seriously intoxicated. How intoxicated you might ask? So intoxicated that I decided to play pimp for the evening. Neither TS or I wanted to shell out the $50 for the cab ride back to the 'burbs, so I made the executive decision to find an alternative place to stay for the evening. I saw a gentleman eyeing TS and made the introduction. The quote of the evening would have to be:

Twin Sister: I'd be happy to go home with you but my friend here is staying with me. He'd have to sleep on your couch.

Definitely one of our tashier moments. And sure enough, I slept on the couch.

Thursday: After waking up and subwaying it back to the house. We didn't have too much time to get ready and head over to Twin Sister's Aunt's for dinner. Overall it was a nice time with good food. However, TS's younger brother (21 or 22 years old) drove one of the guests away before dinner even started. Now, in the brother's defense, this woman is seriously crazy. And she must've been off her meds that day. She was already upset that her two adopted kids (who are supposedly normal) were spending the day at her recently divorcerd husband's house. Things got worse when we starting to talk about how much DC has changed, included the lack of prostitutes near the White House. I guess she didn't like the conversation. The icing on the cake was when TS's brother tried a bit of baked brie that apparently she had brought, he then yelled out "Uuuuggghhh, this is ROTTEN." The woman got up, turned to the brother, said "don't you have any manners," walked out the door, got in her car, and left. And sure enough did not come back. Strangely, no one seemed to be all that concerned. That night we went to a friend's house, sat around, and got loaded.

Friday: This day was rather tame. We slept in, went to the gym, and went to game night at TS's other Aunt's house. Not much really to report...didn't even drink that much

Saturday: We didn't really do much today either. Saturday night though we decided we needed a little change of pace. We started out at some trashy club called Paradise. It was two levels and the lower level looked like a basement. Probably because it was a basement. After that we went to Rise, were Twin Sister had manged to get us on the list. The place was pretty cool, although the music was wack. Despite this we ended up staying until damn near 6am (we got there at 230)

Sunday: Spent 10.5 hours in a car riding back to DC. I'm sure you can imgine how fun that was.

Bitches, I told you so!

My theory is that they a running drugs. Why else would the bus stop at 1st and New York Avenue. Where someone opens the luggage hold, takes something out. puts something in, talks to the driver for a minute, and the leaves.

Thanksgiving

Well I'm off tomorrow morning to Boston for Thanksgiving with Twin Sister and his family. I'm really looking forward to it as I think it'll be a total blast. His mom is a riot! I just hope she doesn't share a handle of vodka with us and then sendl us off to hit the streets. She did that when she came down to visit and it was NOT pretty (what really wasn't pretty was the fact that we could barely stumble into JR's and they still served us). I haven't met Twin Sister's brother yet, but apparently he's hot. And gay.

You might be wondering why I'm not going home for Thanksgiving. "But Chris, you fly back and forth to San Francisco like it's a trip to Target. Why aren't you going home now?" And you'd be right. But I haven't been home for Thanksgiving in three years cause it's generally been cheaper to fly east to Europe than west to SF around this time. I had planned on being in Brussels to visit a friend but that didn't work out, so off to Boston (on the train no less) I go. Besides Christmas is only a few weeks away and I'll be home then.

I'll be back on the blog on Monday. Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving!

Un-nerving

So I was outside smoking a cig earlier today when a Cheep Grand Cherokee pulled up across the street and double parked. I wasn't really paying attention but then I heard a gasp or two. When I turned around to look, all I saw were people staring at the car and at the building that the driver must've run into. I went back to work and when I came out not too much later, there were cops and fire trucks EVERYWHERE. There was a ladder truck and they were raising the ladder up to a ledge between two buildings across the street. There was a stretcher on the ladder and I figured for some reason they must be rescuing someone from the ledge. Well it turns out. They were. Sort of.

Convo of the Weekend.

Overheard in the Gallery Place metro station last night after Brian and I saw Harry Potter (which was SO good BTW).

Girl #1: I can't believe he played him like that.

Girl #2: Who?

Girl #1: Dumbledore. Man, when he told Harry Potter to forget about his dream, he shoulda had that shit on lock.

Girl #2: Right! Instead Harry up against Voldemort solo, and on top, dude done bust a cap in his friend.

Girl #1: That is some shady shit.

Convo of the Day

Me: Kate, I go out one night a week and you call me an alcoholic
Kate: Ya well I go out one night a month and you send me links to Betty Ford.

Mind you both of us are still a little drunk from last night...

Pants

I urge you, gentle reader, to click on this link and read the description of these pants. It's hystarical!

I will write more when I'm less hungover drunk. And no. I did not go to all-you-can-drink.

UPDATE: Apparently this eBay ad as made quite the rounds. Here is the author's blog, and his post on some of the recognition his ad has received.

Mother Nature You're a bitch. Pt. 2

So I think mother nature was mad at me yesterday after I called her a bitch. She teamed up with weather bug to play a mean little trick on me. Around 330-4pm it rained. I knew this was coming. I could see it on weather bug. What I did not know when I left work at 530 was that the earlier rain was not the end of it. You see I had checked weatherbug after the earlier rain dopplar said that was it. When I left the office I had forgotten my umbrella, as it was only sprinkling outside (and weatherbug didn't say more rain), I figured I'd be fine. Not so. I'm halfway to the metro, too far to turn around, when, WHOOOOOSHH. Buckets of water come poring onto my head. It was still raining when I got off the metro. And still raining when I got back on it to go back downtown. Mother nature, you've won this round...

Mother Nature, you're a bitch!

This little weather thingy has me a bit concerned. Right now it is a quite pleasent, though windy, 74 degrees outside. Somehow by tonight the temperature is supposed to drop just shy of 40 degrees. That's one mighty drop. You know it's going to be one of those times when once the front passes through, the temp drops in like 2.5 seconds.

Tomorrow's to-do list: Wear scarf and jacket to work, send mother nature a big eff-you letter.

Rite-Aid

I just ran across the street to rite-aid to buy cigarettes. I was in a hurry but there was only one person in line so I figured I could wait. I get behind the woman and stand there for a few before I realize that she has two shopping baskets filled with things. Now I've seen people before in rite-air stock up on candy for the office, or buy a couple of toiletries, but this woman was full-on grocery shopping. In Rite Aid! WTF? I mean she had toilet paper, cans of soup, cereal, milk, aluminum foil (who knew), the whole bit. Of course there was only one register open and the women behind it was in no kind of hurry. Bitch this is rite-aid. Seller of cigs, candy and perscriptions. If you want to get your shop on, go to Giant.

Weekend Round-Up

As perdicted, this weekend was filled with booze and hangovers. Overall it was a great time, although I don't think I've taken so many Advils in a single weekend before.

Thursday night: We all gathered at JR's for Bernie's B-Day, which happily coincided with $9 all-you-can-drink. I made the mistake of not eating before hand. I've made this mistake before, and it is n-e-v-e-r pretty. There really isn't much to report on. Probably because there really isn't much I remember. I do know that I woke up at Brian's with my hand in a McDonalds bag and an iron grip on some stale french fries. Cute, I know.

Firday Night: Take Thursday night and wash, rise, repeat. Friday was Nick's birthday which meant that he got to decide where we would go that night. His decision? The Common Share in Adam's Morgan. If you know me, you'll know that there is nothing more that I hate than a night out in Adam's Morgan. So I was less than thrilled at his choice. Twin Sister and I decided that clearly there is no way we can get out of it so we might as well make the best of it. A magnum of La Contessa pinot and a half bottle of vodka later, we figured it might not be that bad. We headed to JR's for a quick top off before heading to Adam's Morgan. I have to say, the pregame booze definitely did the trick because the Common Share was not as bad as I had remembered. I reached my limit at a relatively early midnight and had to check myself out of the party.

Saturday was Bernie and Nick's b-day brunch out at Bernie's parents house. Now mind you, Bernie's parents live out it Stickville so brunch was an all day experience. Brunch was fun, filled with tons of food and drink. However, getting to brunch was not so fun. Saturday night I decided to go to Nation with Chuck. My first time there since July. I ended up having a pretty decent time. A bunch of people I haven't seen in a while were there, and we definitely danced it up until 5 in the morning. Which is remarkable considering the DJ blew.

Sunday: Didn't do one damn thing.

Random stuff

The new Madonna album makes me wet and the two remixes I've heard for Hung Up make me even wetter! So far I like the Chus & Ceballos remix a lot better than the Tracy Young. But maybe that's because I really don't like Tracy Young. I'm still mad at her from the time she spun at Nation and just flipped the music off at the end. Bitch.

"Dance Floor Under Construction: Birthday Extravaganza" is finished. There are a couple of gems in there for your listning pleasure.

It so fucking cold outside, it was way warmer this morning when I left for work. Now it's like the arctic tundra

I don't have shit to do at work until January. Finally. I probably shouldn't be writing this but whatev's.

Poltical Post of the Day

So I know I've been posting a bunch of political stuff recently. Sorry about that. I'll try and spice up the coming weekend so I can give you lurid tales of booze and such. In the mean time, came across this post from Andrew Sullivan (via White House Briefing). Sullivan makes and extremely valid point regarding the President's recent assertion that "We do not torture."


"BUSH DIGS IN DEEPER: Here's a fascinating quote:

"There's an enemy that lurks and plots and plans and wants to hurt America again. So you bet we will aggressively pursue them but we will do so under the law. We do not torture," - president Bush, today.

If that's the case, why threaten to veto a law that would simply codify what Bush alleges is already the current policy? If "we do not torture," how to account for the hundreds and hundreds of cases of abuse and torture by U.S. troops, documented by the government itself? If "we do not torture," why the memos that expanded exponentially the lee-way given to the military to abuse detainees in order to get intelligence? The president's only defense against being a liar is that he is defining "torture" in such a way that no other reasonable person on the planet, apart from Bush's own torture apologists (and they are now down to one who will say so publicly), would agree. The press must now ask the president: does he regard the repeated, forcible near-drowning of detainees to be torture? Does he believe that tying naked detainees up and leaving them outside all night to die of hypothermia is "torture"? Does he believe that beating the legs of a detainee until they are pulp and he dies is torture? Does he believe that beating detainees till they die is torture? Does he believe that using someone's religious faith against them in interrogations is "cruel, inhumane and degrading" treatment and thereby illegal? What is his definition of torture? "

I personally wouldn't mind hearing the answer to these questions.

Evaluations

We finally get to evaluate our researchers here at my job. Without these people, our jobs would be so much harder. And yet. With these people, our jobs are so much harder. Every three months when our reports are due, it's not uncommon to hear my fellow coworkers damning these researchers to a life of eternal hell. We've all spent countless hours trying to fix the mess that some (not all) of these people create. My office mate Kate sent in this evaluation of one particular researcher.

Dear Management,

[This researcher] fails at all aspects of being a person.

Thanks,
-Kate

Fill-In-The-Blanks?

Normally on a monday morning afternoon I like to play Fill-In-The-Blanks. (Un)fortuntely I didn't go to JR's last night and instead went to a lesbian cookout over by Capital Hill. Considering Brian and I might as well have spent the entire weekend at Home Depot, this was really quite fitting. The only booze filled night was Saturday, and even that was quite tame. I think I had 4 drinks and was in bed by 12. Secretly I'm saving up for Nick and Bernie's birthday extravaganza which will begin this Thursday at JR's, promptly at 5:05 pm, and will most likely not end until Monday morning.

What Happens in Vegas...

I bet with this post title you thought I was gonna give some tasty tale of booze, sex, and dabauchery. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm actually going to draw your attention to this Washington Post article about the FBI's use of National Security Letters. These letters are used by the FBI to obtain all manner of private info (phone logs, email lists, what books you checked out, online purchases, website visits, etc...), without the approval of a judge or grandjury, or for that matter, the oversight of Congress.

The post cites one particular example that really struck me. You may or may not remember the orange alert that was issued for Las Vegas right before New Years 2003. To investigate the terror threat, the FBI used these letters, among other means, to gather information on anyone that stayed in a hotel, rented a car, or flew on a plane to Las Vegas during a two week period. Are you kidding me? Think about that for a second. That's well over a million people. The FBI tracked the movements (at least vaguely) of a million people during a two week period. And who knows what other kind of information they gathered that wasn't revealed in the Post report. If you were visiting Las Vegas for New Years 2003, then you have an FBI file. What's even more disturbing is that even though the investigation didn't turn up anything, the government is still keeping all of that data for possible future use. Because of this, I've decided to write congress a letter:


Dear Congress,

Please excercise your constitutionally mandated task of government oversight.

Thanks,
-Management

Chris Evan's is SO hot!!

Fill-In-The-Blanks

As it's Friday morning, I would like to play Fill-In-The-Blanks. I know it's been a while but I'm sure you remember how. I'll go first.

I remember getting to JR's at 630
I remember not leaving until almost 10
I remember (though it had to be prompted) fighting a bush on my way to the GL
I vaguely remember not being able to find my coat check (but found like 4 others) at the GL and having to leave my bag and jacket.

I do not remember the walk back to Brian's
I do not remember most of my time at the GL (although I do remembr calling him like a bazillion times)
I do not remember how many drinks I had last night. I say 4-5. Bernie says 8-9. I'm guess it's somewhere in between

Who's next?

I would like to sleep with this man, and/or have his children. If you can work that out, let me know.

Thanks,
-Management

GOP Translator

I came across a pretty funny comment here, thought I'd share it. (Posted by Fairandbalanced?):

"...Democrats are devoid of any ideas..."

There's that line again.

In reality-speak that means:

"We're scared to death of the Democrats in '06/'08."

Im working on a GOP-to-Reality translator. Heres a test:

GOP: "We'll get Osama dead or alive"
TRANSLATION: "We wont ever get Osama b/c he keeps us in business."

another:

GOP: "We're going to fix social security."
TRANSLATION: "We want to end social security."

another:

GOP: "We are the party of morals."
TRANSLATION: "We will lie, cheat and rob you blind."

another:

GOP: "We want to return to fiscal responsibility."
TRANSLATION: "We want to shrink the Federal Govt down to the size where we can drown it in a bathtub."

Yeah! It works! Now all I need to do is mass produce it and sell it at Walmart.

Song(s) of the Day

Half a Mile Away (Scotty K's Vocal Mix) - Debby Holiday

This is one of those songs that just puts a smile on my face.

Update: I just discovered that gay icon Deborah Cox has released a new single. And of course, since she's a gay icon, there is already a remix. So now I have two songs of the day.

House is Not a Home (Tony Moran & Warren Rigg Anthem Mix) - Deborah Cox

BTW

Twin Sister, when referred to in this blog, is not my real twin sister. My real twin sister lives in San Francisco and does not come booze it up at JR's with me on a thursday night. Though I'm sure she'd love it.

Sorry for the confusion Logan.

PS. My real twin sister happens to be in LA this weekend as well. If she can get her act together and call me back, we might have lunch tomorrow.

UPDATE: Sadly, she did not get her act together.

My favorite type of text message

From: United EasyUpdate
Upgrade Confirmed: United First
UA 307 BWI-LAX Oct 28, departs 7:00pm

They had me a little worried when I passed the 72 hour mark and was still waitlisted. It's better than waiting to clear at the gate I suppose...

Last Night

So Twin Sister and I decided that we should brave the permafrost and head over to the high heel race. For some reason, we thought it would be a good idea to pour a bottle of Pinot into a nalgene bottle and take one for the road. Not such a good idea. While I'm, of course, wickedly hungover this morning, I do remember most of the events from last night. Here are some key points:

Putting the mostly full nalgene behind the bar at JR's.

Wathing the straights run amok, with dixie cups of booze and foam hats

Horrible singers at DIK bar

Oh and speaking of DIK bar. They really need a doorman. It seemed the entire crowd was under 21 (which for DIK bar, is definitely rare).

BRRRRRRR

Dear Mother Nature,

What did I do to deserve this? I don't drive an SUV. I try and promote companies that aren't (too) harmful to you. Yet you punish me with this weather. It's not enough that you dump lakes of water on me, and by extension, in my shoes, but now you have to go and make it damn near 3 degrees outside. Perhaps you have noticed that Washington, DC is not above the arctic circle? Please remedy this situation immediately.

Thanks,
-Chris

If you're bored

I came across this article in Slate about learning to drive a stick shift. It's quite amusing, especially if you've ever had to do it yourself. Plus it includes this fun paragraph about the beltway:

"Not the Beltway, Mr. Farrell, please not the Beltway!" she said as she made weeping sounds. To most of the country the Beltway is the place inside of which rapacious lobbyists rob and pillage. To me it is a 64-mile asphalt loop of dread. As Vanessa took her first on-ramp onto the Beltway, I thought there was a strong possibility I would be squashed in this tin can with a 16-year old at the wheel. I also thought, "Hooray, I'm not driving!" and happily closed my eyes. She gained confidence as we sped along and, taking the exit nearest my house, and with only a few bouncy shudders of the car, deposited me at my front door.

9 principles that frequent flyers know, yet most infrequent flyers don’t

This is a pretty interesting thread on FlyerTalk. Some of the things listed are really pretty valuable information. I've re-posted the 9 things originally listed by FT'er ButIsItArt, check out the thread for more:

1. Ticket prices are volatile.
2. Frequent flier miles really aren't worthless, and status really does count for something.
3. Sometimes the best seats are not in First Class.
4. First Class seats are not necessarily more expensive than Economy seats.
5. Low Cost Carriers do not necessarily offer the lowest fare for any given route.
6. All US carriers’ products are not essentially the same.
7. Trying to show airline personnel “who’s boss” will usually not result in better service.
8. The amount of Denied Boarding compensation is in some part quite negotiable.
9. Frequent flyers don’t think they are better than infrequent flyers; we just know how to play the game better.

All of these things are key, and one more as well, (posted by VPescado):

In case of irregular ops (weather delays, etc...), as soon as possible, you should be:
-Thinking about all of the alternate routings, while:
-Waiting on hold on your cell phone to reservations, while:
-Sprinting to the RCC (lounge).

That last one isn't so helpful if you don't have a lounge card, but I can't tell you how many times I've been saved, being stuck in O'Hare or Denver due to weather, simply by calling reservations rather then standing in the miles long line. Most people don't realize that they can also re-book you over the phone, which saves a ton of time and hassle, and often means you get that last seat on that last flight out rather then being stuck in a hotel, or worse, on an airport cot.

UPDATE: BTW, I do have an RCC card, but thanks Kiat for offering :-)

This hurts me more than it hurts you

If you look at my link list, you'll notice that something is missing. That's right, I have de-linked Nick's blog as it's now been a month since his last update. I'm sorry Nick, but it had to be done.

I lied

Whoops, I lied. Not gonna post the results. Sorry.

Disturbing question, disturbing answer

So I'm in the middle of taking a quiz that I found here and I have to say I'm a bit disturbed by two of the questions.

29. Would you rather die yourself or have 10 random people in the world die?
    
    • me
    • 10 of them
    
    
30. What if it were 10,000 people?
    
    • me
    • all of them

I think what disturbed me the most is how long it took me to answer that question.

PS. Will post the quiz results in a few.

Is the sword about to fall?

I have a feeling that most of you probably have not been following Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald investigation into the leaking of Valerie Plame's name as closely as I have (for some background, check this out). If you have, than you are probably sitting as close to the edge of your seat as I am waiting for any possible indictments. News reports continue to speculate that both Karl Rove (the architect of Bush's electoral victories and liberals' arch-nemesis) and I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby (Cheney's Chief of Staff) could possible be indicted as early as this week. Both of these men were instrumental in convincing the public that the U.S. needed to go to war in Iraq because the country was stockpiling weapons of mass destruction, claims that now appear to largely be false. Nothing would make me happier than to see these two men indicted, both of whom were instrumental in setting this country on a seriously wrong path.

This is probably the most unflattering picture of me ever. Thanks Kiat!

Conversation of the Weekend

Overheard while walking down 17th St:

Man#1 (to his friend): You know, I really think we should start doing more coke.
Friend: Seriously, I'm so over crystal. I can't keep being up for 4 days straight.
Man#1: I KNOW. Tina's one mean bitch.
Friend: And you know, booze and coke is a really good combo

Gold Star

Twin Sister told me yesterday that I get the Gold Star for the weekend. I'm not too sure that's something I should be proud of. Will explain more about the weekend later.

Fill-In-The-Blanks

After a brief hiatus, I reppeared at JR's last night for $9-all-you-can-drink. I guess I must've had it in my head that I needed to make up for lost time or something cause I definitely got wiggedy wasted. Towards the end of the night memory gets a little bit hazy so I'd like to play a little game of Fill-In-The-Blanks:

I remember Michelle and Adam at JR's
I vaguely remember running into Brian (although I needed to email him to make sure)
I vaguely remember eating a double quarter pounder like a dateless fat girl on prom night

I definitely needed to check my phone log this morning to see if I did any drunk dialing/texting (I didn't).

Who's next?

Uggghhh, I have just one thing to say about this report that I'm writing for work:

OVER IT

The morning after

So I think I hearted vodka a little to much last night. And not the good kind either, this stuff was definitely a step or two below Zelko. Who knew that Halo's two-for-one happy hour goes until midnights on Wednesdays. Not me. Well until now. The problem with two-for-one's is that when you buy one drink, you're actually commiting yourself to two. What was going to be one or two drinks turned into many more, with the end result being me running stumbling to the metro to catch the last train. Luckily, this time Shamu wasn't trying to squeeze herself into the seat next to me.

It's about time

This column in the Washington Post makes me happy.

Metro Announcement

Dear Metro Riders,

Due to the rising cost of fuel and electricity, metro will be instituting a Southwest style policy. Namely, if you are to big to fit in a 5sq foot area, or require two metro seats, you will need to purchase an additional fare card. Moreover, do no attempt to squeeze yourself into one seat as this will only serve to antagonize your fellow riders. We've devised a list of tips to help you decide if this new policy applies to you.

You will need to purchase an extra fare card if any of the following conditions apply:

1. You need to slide sideways through the fare gate
2. People can't get around you on the escalator
3. You take up two seats on the metro
4. You order the 20 mcnuggets large value meal, just for yourself

We apologize for any inconvenience this policy may cause however it is truly in the best interests of all our passengers.

Thanks,
-Management

For a quick laugh

If you've got a few moments, check out this slideshow from the Washington Post. Some of the outfits are pretty interesting but what's even better are the captions below them, one of which is shown right.

Friendster

A couple of months ago I had pretty much givin up on Friendster. It seemed like there were always problems, errors, etc. But in the past few weeks they have definitely gotten their act togther and, I have to say, I really like it. The newest feature I've notices is a little Java map thinggy that shows all of the ways you are connected to someone. You can move the people around and a little picture pops up when you put your mouse over them. I've been playing with it all morning.

Show me the miles!

United has announced two Mileage Plus promotions: Earn 25,000 miles or 25% of in Washington DC, and Earn 36,000 miles or 20% off on the West Coast. Basically, if you fly four roundtrips out of DC before February 15th you earn 25,000 bonus miles or a 25% off e-certificate. From past experiences I've found the e-certs totally useless, but 25,000 miles will definitely come in handy. The second one, if you fly 8 roundtrips to or from the west coast you earn 36,000 bonus miles (or an e-cert), four roundtrips gets you 10,000.

The general consensus on Flyertalk is that you can combine the two, this means that if I fly 4 roundtrips from DC to the west coast before Feb 15 I get 35,000 bonus miles!! HOT. Let's see, Thanksgiving, Christmas, LA at the beginning of November, and I'm sure I can fit another trip in there in January if not before. Finally some serious bonus action I can use!

PS. I'm sure most of you reading this coudn't give a shit, which is fine. But then I don't want to hear you bitch and moan next year when I jet off somewhere exotic.

MIA

Sorry I've been missing in action the past few days. Have been really busy with work. In the mean time here's my song of the day.

Bumb of House (Jody S Rusty Pipe Mix) - Mad Cows

OK I had never heard of Jody S Rusty or Mad Cows before. But the song is really HOT. Check it out.

For a good time

Was poking around the internet this morning rather than doing real work and I came across this: harrietmiers.blogspot.com I laughed WAY too hard for it being this early in the morning

P.S. For those of you that burn at 40 watts instead of the full 60, the blog referenced is satire. It's not real.

Song of the Day

I'm gonna have to second Twin Sister's choice for song of the day. I've been JAMMING to it all day.

Quick Fix (Twisted Dee Big Room Mix) - Ceevox

MW Coverboy

Twin Sister and I have both decided that this weeks MW coverboy is 1) ugly and 2) doesn't appear to be that bright. While slightly drunk on Friday night we decided that we could come up with much better answers to the questions they ask. Not to mention we are both way hotter than the current one.

What’s on your nightstand? A lamp, clock, last weeks Economist

What’s in the nightstand drawer? The usual suspects, plus my passport and a jar of foreign money. Hey you never know when you need to flee the country

What’s in your DVD player? I don't think I should admit this, but I don't own a DVD player

What’ are your television favorites? America's Next Top Model, Amazing Race, and Star Trek: The Next Generation

What is the last movie you saw in a theater? Star Wars. Well now I've totally cemented the image of me=dork

What was your favorite cartoon when you were kid? Shera: Princess of Power. Clearly my parents should have know from an early age that I was gay

Your favorite superhero? Superman

Who is your greatest influence? My Parents

What’s your greatest fear? Club lights

Who gets on your nerves? My bar nemesis

Pick three people living or dead, who you think would be the most fascinating dinner guests imaginable? Bill Clinton, Richard Branson, Earl Warren

What would you serve? Hmmm, no idea, but it would definitely have mashed potatoes and gravy

Boxers, briefs, or other? Briefs

Favorite retail store? There are so many to choose from...

Describe your dream guy? Cute, smart, someone who can hold an intelligent conversation over dinner and then go burn a hole in the dance floor

Define good in bed? Good chemistry

Most unusual place you've had sex? On top of a castle in Germany

Who is your favorite musical group? Not so much a group but Tom Stephan

What's your favorite website? Washington Post.com

Who was your first celebrity crush? Will Wheaton

If your home were burning, what's the first thing you would grab while leaving? My pictures. Everything else can be replaced

What's your biggest turn-on? Confidence

What's your biggest turn-off? Arrogance

What's something you've always wanted to do, but haven't tried yet? Go to Asia

What's something you've tried that you never want to do again? Girls

What position do you play in the big baseball game of life? Power catcher

What's your favorite season? Fall

What's your favorite food to splurge on? Not really a splurge, but I'll tear up a double quarter pounder

What kind of animal would you be? Giraffe

What are you most grateful for? My friends

State your life philosophy in 10 words or less? No regrets

Here are Chuck's answers

Song of the Day

Reflections feat. Melanie S (Victor Calderone & That Kid Chris Remix) - That Kid Chris

It's not as peppy as a lot of the music I've been listning to recently. But that's ok. Maybe it has something to do with the beginning of fall....

Found on BeatPort

Last night

Somehow I managed to get amazingly wasted last night. I think it had something to do with the Stacker that Twin Sister made me take. It's now 3 in the afternoon and I still don't feel completely right. Had a great time last night though. Started out at Halo which, btw, *rant on* I will not be going to again if they continue to have an out of control line outside while only being half filled downstairs. We seriously waited in line for a good 15-20 mins. If it hadn't been for the fact that we were meeting people inside who had already bought us drinks, we definitely would have given up and gone to JR's. Oh and not to mention the fact that 6 people would walk out but the line Nazi would only let 2 people in, if anyone at all. It's a nice place, especially with the new downstairs, but 15 mins is really trying my patience. *Rant off*

Closed Cobalt, I wish I could tell you whether or not I had a good time there, but I can't really remember.

Totally unrelated: While at work today (yes I know it's Sunday) and procrastinating I came across this blog and this post (via this blog) which both made me laugh.

My office mate Kate and I have just decided that we should go on the Amazing Race. Now we just have to figure out how to apply.

Fill-In-The-Blanks

Now that my hangover has finally started to go away, let's play fill-in-the-blanks.

I remember all of JR's
I remember being at an EMPTY Green Lantern
I remember leaving the GL and it was completely packed
I remember waking up across the river (shock horror!!)

Who's Next?

News Items

This just in. House majority leader Tom Delay (R-TX) has been indicted by a Texas grand jury on a criminal count of conspiring to violate campaign finance laws in Texas. He as since stepped down as majority leader. I have one word for this development. HOT!

Washington Post Article

Dance Floor Under Construction

Since Bernie always gets mad at me for not giving him track lists for my CD's. Here is the track list for Dance Floor Under Construction 3am. Granted he doesn't have a copy yet, but don't worry girl, it's coming.

PS. Yes I realize some of the songs on there are a bit old (Hide U is circa 2001) but that's the point. There are some oldies but goodies and some new stuff as well.

Go East Young Man

My friend Suman was here in DC last week. We met up for drinks last wednesday at JR's, which was probably not the best idea since we were actually trying to hold a conversation. Between the two of us we got interrupted it seemed like every 2.5 seconds. Regardless, he told me that he might move to Tokyo for six months for work. Of course this will be a great opportunity for him, but more importantly this will be a great opportunity for me. I've always been looking for an excuse to go to Tokyo and now I have one.

A story that only Kiat and Tos will get

Here's a quick story that will be much funnier to Kiat and Tos than to anyone else.So I've finally made it to the airport on Friday morning, BARELY beating the 30 mins cut off. I'm checking in for my flight, the kiosk wasn't working so had to go to a human (this is key as I wasn't able to see or select seats). Got my boarding pass. I look and it says 17F. I think to myself "HOT, rebooked at the last minute (IAD-DEN), at no charge, and I get a window seat in E+." As I'm running down the jetway nearing the plane door I thought to myself. "Gee, this is a mighty big plane..." Now imagine the look of utter HORROR on my face as I did a quick 777 alphabet count in my head "AB aisle CDE FUCK G aisle HJ" Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I take my seat to find myself squished between mr. tuna casseroll on my left and mr. I ate three tuna casserolls on my right. The only redeeming quality was that I was in the bulkhead row.

This weekend

I just got back this morning from spending the weekend in San Francisco. Yes. I did take the red-eye. And yes, it did suck. This time wasn't as bad though as I had a bulkhead row with TONS of space.

The trip didn't get off to suck a great start. I was supposed to leave thursday night (at 955) but as I was getting ready to leave work I got a text message from United, "plane departs 1030." Hmmm, delayed a half hour, that's not so bad. then I got another one "plane departs 1100." OK that's a bit worse. I decided to call and the conversations went like this:

Me: Hi, I'm booked on delayed flight xxx from IAD-OAK, I see online that the delay is due to a late arriving aircraft. Has the plane even left the place it's coming from.
Agent: Ummm....let me check *tap tap tap* ummm....no.
Me: Since I have no desire to trek all the way out to Dulles only to have the flight cancelled on me. Can you put me on a flight tomorrow morning.
Agent: Sure. No problem

Great, so I'm scheduled for 8 the next morning. Now most smart people would take this extra time and maybe eat a nice meal and go home and go to bed. Not me. I of course called Chuck to see which bar I should meet him at. Three shirtless-men-drink-free drinks later I was WASTED. So of course I don't wake up until 7. Run out of Chuck's apartment (forgotting to reset his alarms or lock the door) and haul ass to the airport. Knowing full well I'll never get there in 20 mins I called again and got rebooked for a flight at 845 (I heart United). Now picture this: Still drunk me literally running through the airport, carry on over my head, knocking people out of the way trying to get to my flight. I made my flight *phew* and managed to get home to SF relatively on time. I'd normally bitch about how the person next to me smelled like 3 day old tuna casserole, but I probably smelled like a bottle of Zelko so who am I to say.

The rest of the trip was awesome. Nick and I both crashed on friday at like 930. We were gonna try and go out but it just didn't happen. On Saturday we drove up to Napa and went to some wineries. Ok, winery. We stopped at a mall for some sun glasses and two hours, two pairs of jeans, and two button-ups later we finally get back on the road- with only enough time for the Mondavi winery. Still it was nice.

On Saturday night we took a whirlwind tour of SF gay bars. Some highlights:

1. Rapunzel and his polyester suit at Mix asking if we had some ganja (duh, I only do uppers).
   
2. Way too many ugly lesbians at The Cafe
3. Long Islands at Daddy's (it was only downhill from there)
4. Reggae at The Endup (now if we had been smart, we would have noticed the sign that said, "Raggae until 5am" and turned around and left.
5. Two redbulls and two hours with Manny Lehman at Mezzanine (remarkably, sans said uppers).

All in all I had an awesome weekend hanging out with Nick!

I take it back

Everything mean I've ever said about JetBlue, I take it back. Yesterday a JetBlue A320 took off from Long Beach (LGB) on it's way to New York (JFK) but apparently the nose gear got stuck down. The plane had to make an emergency landing at LAX. Your probably thinking, "big deal, nose gear down. Isn't that how it's supposed to be?" Well yes, but not when the gear is stuck turned 90 degrees sideways. The pilot did an amazing job lanind as gently as possible, and the nose gear, though on fire, didn't collapse. The passangers didn't even have to evacuate.

Here's the story from the Washington Post. They have a video of the landing as well, which you should really watch. And then you'll see what I'm talking about.

News of the Day

THIS JUST IN!! Ananova is reporting that Ice T is going to help produce a rap album from................



drum roll please..................




David Hasselhoff. OMG I'm so gonna be the first to buy it!!!

I really hope you all know I'm joking. Although, Bernie, you like rap don't you?

My office mate Kate got a new computer at her desk. She is very excited because now she can copy CD’s to it. Just out of curiosity, I decided to check and see how much music I had stored on my office computer. Considering that the computer only holds 30GB of stuff. I could see how this could pose a problem to someone in IT. Hopefully they won’t read this.

Memo to GW girls

Dear GW Girls,

When venturing outside of campus (ie. Adams Morgan) normal rules of fashion apply. This means that you are not allowed to wear Mary Kate sunglasses, spend an hour doing hair and makeup, attach Prada bag, all to put on a pair of white terry cloth sweatpants and flip flops. Now I realize that it was sunday morning afternoon and you were probably hungover like the rest of us. But if you and your four friends are going to subject us normal DC residents to this travesty of fashion, you will be called Dumpy Desi. To your face.

Thanks,
-Management

P.S. If you are going to wear white sweatpants as if they are normal pants, than normal Labor Day rules apply.

Update: Brokeback Mountain

On Thursday I wrote about the accolades that Brokeback Mountain has been getting recently. There finally a trailer for the movie, which you can view here.

Bored at work

It's time for your weekly (sometimes daily) dose of eye candy. Enjoy.

Are you serious?

The photo to the left shows President Bush writing a note to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. The note: "I think I may need a bathroom break. Is this possible?" Are you serious? If ever there was a picture to reinforce the image of Bush as a total dunce, this would be it. From Reuters via White House Briefing.

Fill-In-The-Blanks

I would like to revist my favorite Friday morning past time, Fill-In-The-Blanks:

I remember going to JR's at 630ish
I remember leaving JR's and going to the GL
I remember dropping my bag off at work
I remember Chuck disappearing with an unnamed gentleman

Who's next?

News Items

Yesterday seems to be rather historic in the history of gay rights. The Massachusetts State Legislature voted down a proposed constitutional ammendment that would have banned gay marriages there. This is the same ammendment that passed last year. This means the ammendment is pretty much dead. There is still a chance that an innitiative could make it on the ballot but a poll cited by the Washington Post says that 56% of people in that state support keeping gay marriage as is.

The other big news item, the U.S. House of Representatives approved an ammendment that would expand federal hate crimes laws to included sexual orientation. This is something that gay rights organizations have been pursuing for years, and which as repeatedly been passed by the Senate but failed in the House. The ammendment passed on a 223-199 vote and was attached to the Children's Safety Act. Joe Solomonese, President of the Human Rigthts Campaign called the vote "incredibly historic."

Brokeback Mountain

My friends and I like to joke that the upcoming movie, Brokeback Mountain, the 20 year story or two gay cowboys who fall in love, should be called Bareback Mountain. But from the reviews I've read so far, this movie is anything but a joke. It won the top prize at the Venice film festival, and already critics are whispering the sweet nothings of Oscar nominations. Here's what one critic, from the Fort Worth Star-Telegram (a decidedly red state) wrote about the film's showing in Toronto:

You come north looking for a masterpiece -- or, at the very least, a movie to shake you out of your doldrums and punch you straight in the gut. At this year's Toronto Film Festival, you didn't have to wait long to find one.

Ang Lee's Brokeback Mountain, an adaptation of a short story by Annie Proulx set to hit theaters in December, is the director's best work since The Ice Storm-- quite possibly his best work period. It tells the story of two young ranch hands (Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger) who fall in love while working together in Wyoming in the early 1960s. For the next two decades, they carry on a fervent but utterly impossible long-distance romance, trying to keep their passions hidden from their wives. The movie is cut from the same cloth as Brief Encounter or An Affair To Remember, an inconsolably sad drama about two lovers driven apart by circumstance. But Lee has never displayed such raw emotion and power; this movie is a fierce howl of anguish from a director who all too often drowns in his own propriety.

Brokeback Mountain screened here Friday, and it instantly became the most-buzzed-about title of the festival. The feeling seems to be that Lee and the shockingly good Heath Ledger are locks for Oscar nominations. (Over the weekend, it also won the top prize at the Venice Film Festival.) But as Lee's fortunes soared, another brand-name director found his crashing and burning...

PS. If you haven't seen Ice Storm (referenced above) I HIGHLY recommend it. It's one of those movies that, when it ends, you just kinda sit there with your jaw open.

Update: Tag. You're it

I finally got back to DC this morning. I HATE RED-EYES!! Every time I take one, I swear to myself, never again. But the problem is they are just so damn convenient. To make it worse, I had the jolly green giant sitting in the middle seat next to me. He wasn't fat, but had really broad shoulders. To make things better though. I was in an exit row on an A319 so the seat in front of me was missing. Still didn't sleep though.

Anyway, as promised, here are my answers to the quiz thingie:

7 Things I plan to do before I die:

1. Learn to spin vinyl
2. Visit all 7 continents. 3 down, 4 to go
3. Live in London (again)
4. Pay off my student loans (maybe)
   
5. Marry the man of my dreams (super sappy, I know)
6. Learn to be much more patient with my mother
   
7. See Fred Phelps get accused of having gay sex, with real pictures to prove it
   

7 Things I can do:

1. Fall in love easily, maybe too easily?
   
2. Give someone a second (or third) chance
3. Recall way too many three letter airport codes
   
4. Get wiggedy wasted (as Chuck likes to say)
   
5. Eat a double quarter pounder meal (large) in under two minutes
6. Appreciate good music
7. Read a copy of The Economist cover to cover without getting maddeningly bored
   

7 Things I can't do:

1. Speak naturally with a British accent (but oh how I wish I could. British accents make me wet)
2. Say no to a slice of cheesecake
3. Abide people with no ambition
4. Fault Jessica Simpson for marrying Nick Lachey
5. Resist the urge to buy cheap plane tickets to far flung destinations
6. Contemplate having sex with a woman
7. Gain weight, no matter how hard I try (see number 5 above)
   

7 Things that attract me to men (or women if that's your thing):

1. Eyes
2. Sense of humor (preferably witty and sarcastic)
   
3. Ability to hold an intelligent conversation for longer than 5 minutes at all
4. Self confidence, but not arrogance.
   
5. Short and well built
6. The ability to get on a dance floor and dance like no one is watching
7. Tall and well built

7 Things I say most often:

1. eeewwww
2. HOT (Paris Hilton I hate you!)
   
3. That doesn't sound pleasant
4. Grumble
5. Fuckballs
6. I'm SO over it (or, like the girl from Rich Kids Cattle Drive: OV-ER-IT. Over it!)
7. It happens, what are ya gonna do?
   

7 Celebrity crushes:

1. Paul Walker
2. Chris Evans
3. Tom Stephan
4. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers
5. Nick Lachey
6. Anderson Cooper
7. Christian Bale
   

7 People I want to do this:

1. Nick
   
2. Chuck (most likely)
   
3. Bernie
4. Kate
5. Jason (least likely)
   
6. Kiat
7. Rachel (if I can figure out what her link is)

PS. This took way longer than I thought it would.

JetBlue?

In response to Kiat and Tos's comments about my last minute trip.

Girl, you know I wouldn't be caught dead on JetBlue. Do I look like I'm trailer trash? Of course I flew United, the flight was practically empty. Had a whole row to myself. And besides, unlike you, I haven't made my status for next year yet (well ok, I'm past Premier. But is that really status?).

Tag. You're it.

Sean tagged me for one of those quiz thingies. Kinda like chain email, but different. Normally I would ignore it, but the questions seemed a bit more thoughtful than "what color are your shoes?" And since he tagged so nicely...I'll do it. But not until tuesday when I get back into DC. Rght now my mom is screaming at me to change the lightbulb in the attic. Wow am I glad I don't live at home anymore. I don't know how some people do it (John, Rachel, I'm pointing at you!).

MIA

Sorry I've been Missing In Action this past week. I was super busy at work trying to get a report out at the last minute. Then my mom called me on Thursday night after I had gotten home from the bar (somehow I managed to sound remarkably sober). Anyway, my mom was frantic. She is packing up the house, getting ready to sell it, and she desperately needed help packing.

Now if you know me, cleaning is definitely not one of my favorite activities. But me being drunk, and assuming that there was no way in hell I'd be able to get a cheap ticket one day in advance, agreed to fly out and help my mom if she'd pay for the ticket and it was less than $300. So on friday morning, only slightly hungover, I went online. Much to my chagrin (sort of, I really do want to help, just hate packing) sure enough I found a ticket for $270, not only that but the flight left in less than 12 hours. So here I am, out in beautiful sunny California, helping my mom pack. Am taking the red-eye back monday night and will be in town tuesday morning. For those of you that don't know: Red-Eye=Grumpy/Hateful Chris on Tuesday.

New Intern

Our new male intern started at the office today. You know the first question out of my mouth when I found out we hired one was "is he cute?" So today I saw him for the first time and my office mate Kate asked me:

Kate: So, do you think he's cute?
Me: meh. He's kinda cute. In a "I'm a 19 year old boy" kinda way. But not in a "let me lick your rippling muscles" kinda way.

Let me lick your rippling muscles? Who says that?

B-Day

On monday, Kiat (pictured) threw a party for my B-Day, his boyfriend Tony's B-Day, and their 100th month anniversary. The party was H-O-T!! The food was excellent, the drinks were deliciously strong, and the cake was to-die-for. It was a fun bunch of people, and all in all, I had a fabulous time. Thanks Kiat!!

PS. And for details check out Kiat's blog. He describes it much better than I could :-)

Quote of the Day

"I'm all for better living through chemistry."
-Margaret the receptionist, on her being able to get a Percacet refill from her doctor

Happy birthday to my twin sister Lisa. Who, like me, is turning 24 today.

Grumble

Found this from the St. Paul Pioneer Press:

Winter forecast: Get shovels ready

LEWISTON, Maine -- Get your sweaters, mittens and hats ready. The 2006 Farmers' Almanac warns that the coming winter will bring unusually sharp fluctuations in temperature, and says readers "may be reminded of riding a roller, or in this case, 'polar' coaster." The coldest weather will be in the Northeast, which also will get plenty of snow, the almanac said. It predicts cold weather for the South and Mid-Atlantic regions and snowy but mild weather in the Great Lakes and Midwest. Parts of the Rockies and the Great Plains may have drier-than-normal weather, but wetter-than-normal weather is predicted for the Pacific Northwest and lower Texas.

I'm not looking forward to the winter at all.

Why I Love California Pt. 2

The California Senate today became the first legislature in the country to approve a gay marriage bill. The legislation, which now moves to the State Assembly, would grant full marriage. Not domestic partnerships, not civil unions, but full on marriage. Hopefully the assembly will pass the bill, but also hopefully, it won't cause a backlash that would have voters approving a constitutional amendment set to go on the ballot next June.

Are They Crazy?

WTF? Apparently people have been shooting at helicopters that have been trying to evacuate people from the Superdome. Are they fucking crazy? These people are trying to help you and you shoot at them. I understand you are tired/angry/frustrated/hungry, and that you want out. People, they are (hopefully) going to get you all out. But not if you shoot at them.

And somewhat related. I'm a little appaled at what seems to be a serious lack of planning for the recovery effort. They thought a Catagory 5 hurricane was going to strike. The most devastating there is, with the mayor of New Orleans predicting widespread flooding. Shouldn't there have been more people/supplies/military help in place?

The Nerve

So I'm outside smoking a cigarette when Chuck's cousin starts walking towards me. She was looking real pretty in her jean shorts and oversized hanes t-shirt with "GUCCI" silkscreened on top, one that she bought from the souvenir man on the corner. Anyway, as she gets closer I notice that on each wrist is a hospital bracelet, and she's mumbling to herself. Great, I'm about to be accosted by some women who escaped either from a mental institution or her trailer.

"Excuse me sir" she says. "But can I have a cigarette?"
"Sorry," I say, "But I left them upstairs in my office." Which was true. I learned a long time ago only to bring one cig with me outside.
She lets out a deep, forlorn breath, "Oh." But then suddenly an idea pops into her big ass head. "Well can I have a drag?

HUH?!? Bitch no! If you think for one second I'm going to put my mouth around that cigarette after your herpes infested lips have touched it you are insane. Oh wait. You are insane. I had half a mind to drop it on the ground, stomp it out, and go inside. But she was bigger than me, and would probably hurt me.

So instead I said, "Here take the rest" and turned and walked away muttering "you stupid cunt."

The nerve of some people. Maybe if she had taken her meds back in '79 like her doctor had suggested she wouldn't be crazy and homeless. And instead could afford her own pack of cigarettes.