Au Revoir Bitches!

Well kiddies I'm just about to head off to the airport fly over to Brussels. I'm pretty excited about the trip, although my last experience in the city wasn't that great. I guess I'm more excited to be going back to Europe as I've feel like it's been ages (July) since my last trip. I'll be sure and knock back a Stella or two for you all.

For those of you that care, I'm flying non-stop from Dulles which a) rocks and b) makes the trip so much easier. I really hate the jet-lagged rush through the Frankfurt airport, or worse, London Heathrow in a vein attempt to make my 90 min connection. My flight'll be even better thanks to Kiat and the mutitude of drink coupons he gave me for the flights. Yes, even United has started charging for booze across the pond. Sad :-(

PS. Not sure I'll have internet access so I may not post until I get back next Tuesday.

I am so smart. S-M-R-T

Yesterday I wrote about how my cell phone had almost died. I pointed out that the clear button and joystick didn't work, and that the phone likes to turn of randomly. Well, what I neglected to point out is that the clear button is also the power button. Now a smart person would have put two and two together and said. "Wait a second. Power button doesn't work. Phone turns off when it wants. I should really copy down my numbers and transfer them to the sim card so I won't lose them if the phone turns off and I can't turn it back on." We can obviously guess what happens next. Of course the phone turns off and I have no way of turning it back in. I thought I was up a creek.

Fortunately, the phone also like to turn itself back on randomly, as it did this morning, and I again have phone service. As soon as I get back from Brussels I'm def getting a new one. This leaves me in a bit of a dilemma. Do I just go for the free phone (my contract has been up for ages, remember the last phone was a boot-leg so didn't have to renew) or do I go for the new Slivr.

RIP :-(

My fabulous little phone has finally died. Ok, almost died. The end button doesn't work and neither does the down or up button on the little joystick thingie (see above). This makes it impossible to silence my phone, or scroll through my contacts. The phone also likes to turn off whenever it damn well pleases, without giving me any sort of hint it's turned off. This is especially aggravating when walking around waiting for a phonecall. I have only had this phone a year which makes it especially irritating. Anyway, I've learned two very valuable lessons from this:

1) Do not buy a Siemens cell phone. They suck more than Showgirls.

2) Do not buy your cellphone bootleg-style. Yes kiddies, I wanted this phone so badly (though it was only sold in Europe) that I went to a ghetto store up on Conn. Ave and bought a Latvian variety. O-b-v-i lesson learned.

Grumble

Please tell me again why we thought it was a good idea to drink ALL day yesterday. I definitely peaced out of JR's at like 630 and was passed out at home by 730. My liver is going to fall out.

Fill-In-The-Blanks

OBVI I am still a little bit drunk from last night. I think it might have something to do with getting to JR's at 5:30 for $9 all-you-can-drink. Oooops. Anyway, as my memory is a little hazy, I'd like to play my favorite game. Fill-In-The-Blanks. I'll go first:

I remember getting to JR's at 5:30
I vaguely remember the end of all-you-can-drink
I vaguely remember falling off my barstool. Oooops.
I don't really remember the BF yelling at me on the corner of 17th and R.
I vaguely remember not caring

I'm not really sure if the BF yelled at me or not. But I'm just going to make that assumption since it would be par for the course.

Two Vodka Tonics and a Madras

Myself, Twin Sister and Twin Sister's bf are no longer allowed in DIK bar. Wait, back up. Hypothetically speaking, if myself, Twin Sister and Twin Sister's bf were to set foot in DIK bar, possibly more than once. And if, hypothetically speaking, the bartender were to remember us and our drinks. We would, hypothetically speaking, not be allowed to continue the practice as DIK bar is trashy and we are ladies and we couldn't possible be associated with this place. This is, of course, all hypothetical as we would never be caught dead in DIK bar to begin with.

Except that one time that me and Mimi decided we were done with DIK bar but not our drinks so we decided to hide them under our coats and take them to McDonalds. That was hot.

This is so wrong!

From CNN: Deaf Beauty Queen Was Text Messaging When Hit by Train

Come on now guys. Stop laughing. It's really not funny.

(via Matthew Henry's Bitchin Blog)

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm....

I met up with Jeff Gannon (of White House reporter fame) for drinks last night at Tapatini's on Capitol Hill (which is a nice place BTW, but too bad you have to trek over the river and through the woods to get there). Anyway, I was invited for a cocktail after he read my comment about his interview with MeetJustin. Now, some of you are probabaly wondering, "Good god, why would you do something like that?" And my answer to you would be, "Umm, why not?"

I knew, of course, that our views on a lot of things would be vastly different. What caught me off guard, however, was the number of things on which I found myself agreeing with him. For example the virtues of incrementalism, or the pathetic state of the Democratic leadership. Now look, I'm a liberal just as much as the next guy, but don't you all (those of you that follow politics anyway) cringe just a little when Nancy or Harry open their mouths?

On to incrementalism. I'd like to compare the fight for gay marriage to trying to cook a frog. I've never actually cooked a frog but I've heard this is how it works. Anyway, you've got a frog. You want to cook it. You boil some water and drop the frog in. Lo and behold, the frog jumps out as obvi the water is to hot. Now, if you drop the frog in cold water and slowly bring it to a boil, it won't notice and eventually you'll have cooked frog. In my mind, this is similar to the fight for gay marriage. If you try and throw the public head first into full blown gay marriage (ie. boiling water) they'll recoil in fear and suddenly we have states passing amendments left and right outlawing that sort of thing. On the other hand, if you start out with little things like hospital visitation or ingeritance rights, and slowly work your way up, the public might just not notice. Sadly, however, its probably too late for that. The bright spot we (the gays) have is that the younger generations just don't seem to care as much about this issue.

Anyway, Just my 2 cents...

Weekend Roundup

I'm far to drunk at the moment to post a full recap. Suffice it to say there was plenty of booze, although not of Saturday night cause I had a fever and a wicked headache. Made up for it last night of course. These lovely ladies made appearences last night. And of course The Mean Girls, sans Chaka Kahn, were out in force. I believe the highlight of the evening would be when Taylor managed to pry open the window at Annie's and yelled into the restaurant. Have no idea what he said as he was probably incoherent and I was half passed out.

Over it

I am so ready for this horrible week to end! I've been sick all week but since work has been crazy, I wasn't able to take off a day and recuperate.

On the plus side, I got my tickets for Boston at the end of April. Tom Stephan, here we come!

PS. The Mean Girls are thinking of going to Toronto for pride this year. For the past few years we've done San Francisco but we were thinking of doing something different. Has any body been to Toronto, or even better, been there for pride. Is it worth the trip?

Quiz of the Day (Response Required)

After a lengthy conversation with a friend who is going through some issues. I've decided to ask all of you readers what you think of a situation:

Two guys are in an open relationship. The only stipultation is no an@l sex. Well, unfortunately, my friend kinda broke that stipulation. Now his bf says he cheated, but had he just blown a guy it would've been fine. So my question is:

A) Does the "no an@l sex" part seem like a legitimate stipulation, and my friend cheated? Or...

B) Is an open relationship an open relationship, doesn't matter which hole?

I expect comments (especially from lots of you people that I know read but never post a comment, thanks).

PS. I'll let you know what I think tomorrow.

UPDATE: Thanks for the responses guys, and I'm so glad that Grace, Twin Sister and Chaka Kahn (aka Chocolatte) responded.

Ok so I lied, I meant to say I'll let you know what I think on Friday. Oooops. Anyway here's my take. First of all, my friend was very honest about the situation and came clean the next day. So he should get credit for that. Secondly, I realize that they had an agreement, and that my friend broke it. But really, I think the only thing my friend is guilty of is breaking an agreement, not cheating. Seriously, to say "you can go blow someone but can't f*ck them?" No. Either you can hook up with someone else, or you can't. Why should the difference between not cheating and cheating hinge on which hole you use?

Double Update: For more thoughts and musings on the subject. Click here, or here.

True Story

So I'm riding metro this morning (coming from my house in NE) and I get on the train and find an empty seat next to the door. I've got my iPod on and I'm reading the Express, minding my own business. We start moving and the girl across from me suddenly gets up and hustles down to the end of the car (I'm in the middle, sitting in the seat that is parrallel to the car). I didn't really think anything of it but I glance up across from me and there is a man, legs all sprawled out, with his hands down his pants and his head tilted back. I look for about 2 seconds and sure enough he is rubbing one off, on the metro.

No ma'am! I guess they need a sign, "no eating, no drinking, and no jacking off." Whatevs, I decide I can ignore it by reading the paper and turning the music up a bit louder. Not 10 seconds later he sits up, unbuttons his pants and whips it out. Right there. ON. THE. METRO. I mean he seriously gets the whole thing, balls and all, out of his pants. Obvi I'm not trying to get some random stain on my clothes this early in the morning so at the next stop me and about 3 other people get up and move to the next car. This was at Rhode Island Ave. I think they finally got him at Gallery Place as we waited there for a minute and there were lots of cops on the platform.

This is why I need to stop riding metro.

PS. This man did not look homeless, or crazy. Just unconcerned that there was a rush-hours load of people surrounding him.

If you have a minute, I'd like to direct your attention over to this post at MeetJustin.com. I wrote about Justin's blog back in December, and it seems like he's finally gotten his project off the ground. Fairly recently he interviewed Jeff Gannon (of White House reporter fame), which is itself an interesting interview. He wrote a very well thought out and inciteful post following the interview, it's kinda lengthy, but I urge you to read it if you have a minute.

Quote of the Day

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade...................then find somebody with vodka!

B!TCHES!!

So I filled out my taxes and was expecting a decent refund. Not large, but not in the $20 range either. Not that it really matters. You see, last year I filed my DC taxes and found out that I owed them just over $100. Not really sure how that worked out, or why. I mean, isn't it their job to collect enough money from my paycheck? Anyway, the problem is: I may not have ever paid DC the money. Ooooops. Well it seems like they may have taken matters into their own hands. I went to check the status of my refund and it said "Your tax refund was direct deposited on March 10, 2006." No ma'am, it most certainly has not. But then I looked a little closer and it also said this:

Please read the following information related to your tax situation:

* The amount of my federal payment (e.g., income tax refund) has been reduced ("offset"). Why?

* Tax Topic 203, Failure to Pay Child Support, Federal Non-Tax and State Income Tax Obligations

Well now they are some crafty bitches. Oh well, I guess I can't really complain. At least I get to wash my hands of the whole situation.

Huh?

Kate: Listen to this! So Mike (her BF) and I decided that we are gonna go see a movie tonight.
Me: Oh? What movie?
Kate: I really want to see The Hills Have Eyes.
Me: Eww! That movie looks disgusting! I'm sure you guys will have a ball.
Kate: Well that's the thing. Mike really wants to see Failure to Launch. So I think we are gonna see that instead.
Me: Wait what? You want to see the gory slasher flick and Mike wants a romantic comedy?

Convo of the Day

My Officemate Kate: (Laughs to herself)
Me: What's so funny?
Kate: I was just noticing how big these pants are on me
Me: Are they from your fat days?
Kate: Yep. They are the only pair I didn't throw away after I lost my freshman twenty-five.

About effing time

According to the National Weather Service (via WP) it is supposed to be in the 70's this weekend. All I can say is, about effing time! I suppose I shouldn't get too excited though. We all know how reliable weather reports are here in the District.

This Just In!

According to the Washington Post:

"MANALAPAN, Fla. -- The musician Yanni was arrested at his home after an alleged domestic dispute with his girlfriend, authorities said.

Yanni, whose legal name is John Yanni Christopher, was arrested early Friday and faces a domestic battery charge, according to a police report."

The article claimes that Yanni asked his girlfriend to leave and as she started to pack her things Yanni threw her to the ground and started beating her with his healing crystals, while screaming "heal with these b!tch!"

Ok, so I made up the part about the crystals, but still. What is the world coming to? First Richard Simmons, now Yanni...

PS. This is the money quote from the Simmons police report:

“Farney said that he had no intention of hitting Simmons back or doing anything except contacting the police. Farney was not injured in anyway and said that Simmons did not slap him that hard. Farney told me that he does some cage fighting and that he knew that he was much more powerful than Simmons.”

And the Oscar goes to...

...Crash! Wait, what? I thought Brokeback Mountain was supposed to be the favorite. While I'm obviously upset that Brokeback Mountain didn't win the Best Picture award, I think of all the movies that could've won instead, Crash is probably the best. I admit I haven't yet seen it, but everything I've heard about the movie is that it is amazing. Besides, Brokeback did win three Oscars, best director, best original score and best adapted screenplay, not bad for a "gay cowboy" movie.

BTW: I can't believe that "It's hard out here for a pimp" won best original song. I totally agree that it was the best of the three but I'm just surprised that the Acadamy voted for it.

Dale's (and Chip, when he post's) blog posts almost always make me laugh. But I think that this one takes the cake. My favorite:

Die Horrible week
You Eff'd me like the prom queen
I hope you catch crabs

Lies!

Despite what anyone tells you, I was the poster child of sobriety last night.

Twin Sister +1, the BF, Grace and Taylor on the other hand were Loady Mcloadersons. Oh and Scott too.

Preemptive reminder: Hateful comments will be deleted. Scott.

Kiat has finally posted pictures from last friday. Here here, and scroll down a tiny bit to take a look.

PS. Yes I know, I still need to post pictures of Tokyo. I'm waiting until I have them all (this is directed at you, Suman) until I post them.

40 Days

I want to preface this post by saying that I'm not catholic, or religious, but that usually I try and give up something for lent because I want to do something good for my body, and this is a good opportunity.

Anyway, so I was trying to figure out what I should give up.

Smoking? A good contender. But I'm not quite ready yet. Yes b*tches I know I said I'd quite after Japan. But you see, the duty free carton was SOOOO cheap, and I can't let those cigarettes go to waste.

Drinking? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. When hell freezes over and satan gives free sleigh rides. I once had a friend give up booze for lent. It was not pretty. She probably should have just stayed home for 40 days. Although I did think about giving up my fifth drink and making it a water. "Oh no girl, I can't have another one. I gave up my fifth drink for lent. But look. You let me know when you're on number six. Ok?"

This left me with one final thing to give up. That's right. McDonalds. Now as some of you may have gathered from previous blog posts, or have seen me at McDonalds, you'll know that Chris+booze+Large Double Quarter Pounder Meal (w/ Diet coke, obvi) = White+Rice. So in the interests of personal health, I will no longer be going to McDonalds after JR's. Or at any time for that matter. And don't worry, I really don't like other fast food places so there is no chance of me switching to BK or Wendy's.

OBVI this will all go out the window if budgetary constraints come into play. Let me tell you, many meals can be had off the dollar menu.

PS. Sorry Dale for ripping off your Getty Images, I just couldn't find a good one anywhere else.
PPS. Hateful comments will be removed. Thanks, -Management
PPPS. Twin Sister, you keep you mouth shut.